The Slow Road to Heaven or the Fast Lane to Hell
by Mrs Pepperpot
Summary: A continuation of my post S3 Ep 8 fic 'Last orders' Alex has returned to Gene to help him with his work, but it's not going to be an easy job. Like they say, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions...
1. Chapter 1

The Slow Road to Heaven or the Fast Lane to Hell

This fic is a continuation of my post S3 Ep 8 oneshot 'Last Orders' so it would be helpful to read that first :)

Many Thanks to Vintage1983 for being my Beta Reader on this fic xx

Thank you for taking the time to read & please leave a review if possible. All constructive criticism is welcome.

Chapter 1

The grey light of a winter's morning had begun to fill the room as Alex opened her eyes. She wrapped herself tightly around the sleeping form of the man she had postponed paradise for; although at this moment it didn't seem that she had delayed it at all, for surely this was heaven? She had wanted to know the truth; it was what she had worked for her whole life, getting to the truth. The final truth had been that this world was a place for the dead and dying, a place where they could lay their demons to rest and find peace, or stay tormented for all eternity. This isn't what she imagined it would be like to be dead; it still felt somewhat macabre to dwell on it. But, dead she was, and the man she couldn't be without was dead as well, cut down at the age of twenty- two. She eased back slightly to look at his face, so peaceful in sleep and not at all like the ghost that had once haunted her. He had been a man, but really not more than a boy, now he had finally grown up. Her heart swelled with love for him and although it might be no more than an illusion, she felt alive. It all seemed so real now and it always had. Gene began to stir and his eyes flickered open…

"Morning, Bols." He said with a sleepy smile.

Alex didn't reply and she instead decided to greet him in a more direct manner, her lips seeking his as she tangled herself around his body. He looked so gorgeously ruffled with his unshaven face and wild hair, she wanted to devour him.

"Steady on, Bolly, I don't want to have to arrest yer for GBH." Gene said with a wicked grin as he took charge and flipped her onto her back.

Alex fell back giggling as she surrendered herself to the paradise only he could take her to…

Later, as they recovered in each others arms, Gene was pondering higher matters. He held Alex in a firm embrace with one arm as he slowly stroked his other hand over her hair.

"What were it like? In the pub I mean." He asked tentatively.

Alex sighed as she thought of the best way to explain it.

"It was like every good thing that every happened to you and every good feeling you ever had, all at once." She finally said unsatisfied that she had really captured its true essence in words. "Sorry but I can't really explain it, I think it's something you just have to find out for yourself."

"I only wanted you to be safe, from Keats I mean, and to do what I knew I had to do." Gene said as he struggled with his emotions. He had longed to be with her like this but he had resigned himself to letting her go, because he knew it was the right thing to do, but she had returned to him.

"I know and I understand; I just wasn't ready to leave all this behind, to leave you behind." She said as she moved to kiss him once more. She traced idle patterns over his bare chest with her fingers.

"I'll see Molly again one day but she has a long life ahead of her first, and I know she will make the most of it. I love you Gene, so much that I can't be without you in this world or the next." Alex said as her eyes pooled with tears.

Gene saw the tears begin to fall down her cheek and he gently brushed them away.

"Bloody hell woman! What have I done to yer? Never knew I had such a way with the ladies" He said with mock alarm. "There's no getting rid of me now yer poor mare!"

He was all ready to dive under the covers with her again when he noticed the time, it was well after nine in the morning and they had a new DI to whip into shape.

"C'mon Bol's! It'll have to keep for later. Get yer knickers on, we've got work to do." Gene barked commandingly.

* * *

Alex knew it was going to feel different walking back into the station after everything, with no Shaz to greet her or the familiar sight of Ray and Chris at their desks pretending to be busy. There was still Gene though, her constant as he had always been in this world. The work continued regardless and officers were busy milling about, a few familiar faces remained but there was no sign of DI Bryan Freeman, the new arrival.

"Where the bloody hell is he? He's late." Gene asked in his usual short-tempered manner.

"Well we weren't exactly punctual ourselves, were we?" Alex said with a smile. "Maybe I should go and look for him. I know what he's going through right now and I can help him." She explained with concern.

"C'mon then lets go and knock him out of bed." Gene said as he shrugged his coat back on, ready to go.

Alex wasn't sure that Gene's blunt methods were what DI Freeman needed at that moment. "No. I think I should go alone, he'll be in a state, and he'll be confused and scared. I think he might respond better that way than if we both go charging in there." She cautioned

"Oh and I don't know what he's going through? I wouldn't understand, eh?" Gene said with a hint of bitterness.

Alex moved to softly stroke his cheek.

"I know you understand, but he might find it easier to talk to me, that's all. We're a team right?" She said as she gently squeezed his hand.

"Oh go on then." Gene said with a sigh of resignation.

* * *

Alex knocked loudly on the door of Luigi's former flat, there were no sounds to be heard from within so she knocked again and waited. There was then a clattering and the sound of breaking glass, and suddenly the door flew open to reveal a dishevelled looking DI Freeman…

"DI Freeman? Bryan, I'm DI Alex Drake, we'll be working together at Fenchurch East." She explained softly.

"Never heard of you! I've worked there for over ten years now and I don't know any of you lot. I don't know what's going on." He said with confusion.

"Why don't I come in and we can have a chat. I do know what you're going through, believe me." Alex said as she moved past him and took a seat at the kitchen table.

There was a near empty bottle of red wine on the table and the broken pieces of another empty bottle on the floor.

"That won't help." She said gesturing to the bottles.

"Who the hell are you again? You come barging in here telling me my business. So I had a drink, so what? There's something weird happening here, I don't know what but I know it's not right." Freeman said his eyes full of fear and confusion.

"Sit down Bryan, tell me what happened. How did you end up here?" Alex coaxed him in a soft and sympathetic tone.

Freeman closed the door and slumped down on a nearby chair; he put his head in his hands and ruffled at his hair…

"I can't remember what happened, it's like a dream, you know when you try and think about a dream you had and it slips away? I just know that I don't belong here. This isn't my world." Bryan said with certainty, although he felt anything but.

Alex pondered what he had said for a moment before the truth dawned on her, this one must already be dead. The memories of the life he had just departed were fading fast but he would remember again, one day. She gave him a sad and pitying look as he continued to rub at his eyes, in some doomed attempt to wake himself from a nightmare he couldn't even recall.

Alex felt the best thing would be for Freeman to keep busy so she set about trying to motivate him into action. "Why don't you clean yourself up and get dressed. We can go over to the station together. DCI Hunt is waiting and he isn't a patient man."

"I, I'm not sure I feel up to it." He stuttered.

"Come on, I think it will do you good. It's best to keep busy and get on with the job, it's what us coppers do, right?" Alex said commandingly.

DI Freeman gave a weak nod of his head and he slowly got up and shuffled off to get ready. Alex gave him a reassuring smile but she knew it wouldn't be an easy ride for any of them.

* * *

Gene was sat in his office talking to an unfamiliar WPC when Alex and Freeman arrived in CID. DI Freeman got himself seated at Ray's old desk and Alex went to sit behind her desk, as she looked on with curiosity in Gene's office. After a few minutes Gene led the WPC out into CID and got her seated at Shaz's old desk, he turned in Alex's direction with a serious expression…

"Bolly, a word, now." He commanded.

Alex jumped up swiftly and followed him into the office and she closed the door behind her.

"How's he getting on?" Gene nodded his head in Freeman's direction.

"He doesn't remember anything about how he got here." Alex explained.

"Oh, right." Gene said as he clicked on to the fact that DI Freeman was dead. "That was WPC Julie Brent, by the way. She's brown bread an all!" He said exasperatedly. "The new Super sent her, he said that since I still had you I could handle the extra work, and that's not all – We've got a DC Gary Palmer arriving sometime today. Oh and DI Freeman is a DS here so I've got to demote him too!" His face was growing redder as he finished speaking.

Alex sat wide eyed as she took in the information Gene was relaying…

"Did the super say anything else about them?" She asked.

"No. It doesn't work like that, they'll have forgotten like I did, like you will. We'll have to start from scratch and knock 'em into shape or die trying." He said in a sardonic manner.

Alex sighed; she wouldn't forget it was the price she had to pay for crossing the threshold of the Railway Arms. She knew that Gene would start to forget the truth but she would make sure he remembered what was important.

"Well it looks like we've got a new team then?" Alex said with all the enthusiasm she could muster, for Gene's sake.

"I bet yer sorry yer came back now." Gene said although he sincerely hoped she wasn't.

"No, I'm not sorry. I told you that you needed me and I was right." Alex said with certainty. "We'll do this together Gene." She took his hand in hers and he entwined his fingers with hers in a show of solidarity.

* * *

The usual business of CID rumbled on with the new arrivals doing their best to fit in, it helped that they couldn't remember their pasts; it made things easier - for now. Alex kept craning her neck every time the doors opened as she hoped to catch first sight of DC Palmer, who was still to arrive. It was getting on for lunchtime when the doors of CID swung open and in burst a bewildered looking young man in his mid-twenties.

"DC Gary Palmer I presume." Alex muttered to herself as she got up to greet the young man.

"DC Palmer, Gary? We've been waiting for you to arrive. Why don't you take a seat and we'll get you settled in." She said as she escorted Palmer to Chris's old desk.

"I think I'm in the wrong place." The young man said blankly as he slumped into his seat, his eyes staring straight ahead.

"I'll get you a cup of tea and we'll have a little chat." Alex said sympathetically.

She was just about to head off into the kitchen when Gene charged out of his office.

"No time for a tea break Bolly! We've had a shout – A body has just been pulled out of the river. C'mon jump to it and bring the cast of Rentaghost with yer." He barked as he marched towards the doors. "Bugger! We'll have to take a car from the pool; the Merc's not coming 'til next week." He puffed.

"A Mercedes? We are going up in the world." Alex said.

"Let's hope so!" Gene replied as he disappeared through the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for reading and please leave a review if possible. **

**Sorry for the delay in updating, I hope I can add at least one chapter a week in future :) xx**

Chapter 2

Alex cast a surreptitious glance over the two occupants in the back seat of the car; they looked lost in their own thoughts.

"Maybe we should have brought Terry and Bammo." She whispered an aside to Gene whilst casting a concerned eye back to the new arrivals.

"They'll be fine." Gene said dismissively.

Alex wasn't so sure, DS Freeman certainly looked robust enough physically but there was a certain something about him, that she couldn't quite put her finger on yet. He had the brusque cocky façade about him, but there was fragility underneath it all. She had observed that he had sloped off for over an hour just before dinner time and had returned smelling of alcohol. It wasn't something she was going to call him on though, not yet at least, and she had certainly done enough drinking when she had first arrived in this world. Alex turned her attention to DC Palmer, he was a tall, lanky and pasty looking young man with sandy blond hair not unlike the 'skinny lad' that Gene Hunt once was. There hadn't been time for her to get acquainted with the young detective constable since his recent arrival, but she fully intended to quiz him when they got back to the station.

"What do we know about the body?" Alex inquired as she turned her attention back to the case.

"Not much! Man in his thirties, with one stab wound to the chest, that's it." Gene explained.

They pulled up near the river bank and down to where the pathologist was working on the body, Gene asked for the details…

"Looks like it was the single stab wound to the chest, possibly penetrating through the heart that was the cause of death. He was almost certainly dead before he hit the water. He's probably been in the river for a few days from the look of him" The pathologist explained.

"Any I.D?" Gene asked.

"No, there was nothing on the body." The attending P.C explained.

"Right first things first, we need to find out who he is." Gene said as they headed back to the car.

DS Freeman seemed unmoved by the matter but DC Palmer was looking very pale and disorientated; Alex noticed that the young DC was looking particularly distressed.

"Everything alright Gary?" She asked with concern

Palmer quickly nodded his head and turned around so that the body was out of his eye line. Alex tried to silently communicate her concern to Gene but he was not in a mood to mollycoddle.

"Come on you pair of tarts! You two can trawl through the missing person's reports back at the station; see if we can find a name for the Man from Atlantis." Gene said barking out the orders.

* * *

Back at the station Alex set the new arrivals to work as a morose Gene retired to his office. She was worried about his sudden change in temperament and about how quiet DC Palmer had been since seeing the body. There were more pressing matters at hand though than Gene's changeable temper, and attending to the new arrivals was her top priority at the moment. She turned her focus back to DC Palmer and wondered if there was another reason for his apparent squeamishness, other than the sight of a corpse. The poor young copper hadn't even been given a chance to familiarise himself with his new surroundings before he was pressed into action. Alex had been searching for an opportunity to question him about his memory and what he knew, if anything of how he had come to be in this world. She stole a glance at him as he flicked through the missing person files, and she decided it was probably best to leave him to his task for now. She reasoned that there would be plenty of time for them to get to know each other in the days and weeks ahead. Alex glanced over to Shaz's old desk and tried striking up conversation with the new WPC Julie Brent. She had been fairly quiet since her arrival and had been busily getting on with typing and filing without any protest, but Alex could sense that she wasn't entirely at ease with the situation. Brent was quite a change from Shaz, she was in her early forties, of average height but with a full figure and her personality it seemed, was as mousy as her blond hair.

"How are you settling in Julie? Anything I can help you with?" Alex asked her in a soft tone as WPC Brent carried on sorting through the files on her desk.

"No I'm alright Ma'am, although... I don't know! I'm just having one of those days I suppose." She replied in a strong cockney accent.

"Please, if there's something troubling you? You can talk to me." Alex coaxed.

"I don't know it's silly really but I'm not sure I belong here, I know I'm new and I asked for this transfer but something feels wrong…Oh just ignore me Ma'am, like I said it's silly, I'm sure I'll be right as nine pence by the end of the day." WPC Brent said dismissing her ill feelings.

"It's alright Julie, I don't think you're being silly at all, please know that you can talk to me, about anything." Alex said with a reassuring smile.

"Thanks Ma'am." Julie said as she went back to her work.

Alex pondered on whether she should be more direct with the new arrivals, not that she intended to blurt out to them that they were dead, but maybe a few subtle hints here and there to jog their memories might be helpful in the long run. She glanced over to Gene, who was in the process of downing a large scotch in his office. He had become quite taciturn earlier during the drive back to the station, there was obviously something bothering him but he had been in no mood to elaborate. Alex decided that he had been stewing long enough, and she wanted to seek his counsel on the matter of the new arrivals. She walked over to his office and knocked on the door, and not bothering to wait for a reply she went in, locking the door behind her and pulling down the blinds.

"What's goin' on?" Gene asked with alarm. "This isn't the time or place for any funny business." He said firmly.

"Spoilsport" She said with a smirk as she tried to lighten his mood.

"Sorry Bol's, but this is going to be a lot harder than I thought." He said with a glum expression.

Alex moved around his desk and pushed some loose papers aside so that she could sit near him. She thought about making a smutty comment about his 'harder' remark but she could see from the steely look in his eyes that it wouldn't be welcome.

"I know it's been a lot to take in, it has been for me too but you don't have to go through this alone Gene, I know it won't be easy but we've got each other." She said softly as she reached for his hand.

He didn't want her comfort and snapped his hand away, reaching for the whisky bottle to refill his glass.

"You should get back out there; keep an eye on Randall and Hopkirk and the new plonk." Gene said dismissively. "An' we've still got the man with no name on the mortuary slab." He said brusquely.

Alex considered staying and trying to get Gene to talk but it didn't seem the right time, and with everything that had happened to them and between them, maybe he just needed the space to come to terms with it all at his own pace.

"Don't forget I'm here if you need me." She said as she returned to her desk.

He managed a tight smile in reply, he wasn't likely to forget ANYTHING, he thought to himself with a hint of bitterness, and he wished for a moment that she had never come back.

* * *

It was heading towards home-time before a break came on the 'body in the river' case. DS Freeman had gone AWOL again for nearly an hour after they returned to the station, they had just been about to send out a search party when he sauntered back into CID as if nothing had happened. Alex again smelt alcohol on his breath when she accosted him but she didn't confront him on the matter, it was early days yet. He hadn't been seated back at his desk long before the new desk sergeant Frank Burns burst into CID with possible news of the mystery dead man.

"There's a Mrs Archer outside, she's come in to report her son missing and from the description he could be our dead man."

"Thank you Frank, I'll come and have a chat with her." Alex said as she followed him out to the reception area.

"Mrs Archer?" She asked as she spied an older woman sat waiting, she was what could only be described as 'mutton dressed as lamb', with bleached blonde hair piled high on her head and wearing clothes made for a younger and slimmer woman. Her cleavage was struggling to be contained as she got up to greet Alex.

"Is my Ricky here? Oh my Gawd! He's not in trouble is he?" Mrs Archer asked anxiously.

"You came in to report Ricky missing, when did you last see him?" Alex asked.

"I ain't seen him for over a week but that's not unusual, he was supposed to come over to mine the night before last though and he didn't show, and I asked round his mates and they said they ain't seen him for a few days. It's not like him to just vanish off the face of the Earth." She explained.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this Mrs Archer but a body was pulled out of the river this morning, and from the description you gave Sergeant Burns it could be Ricky." Alex said regretfully.

"No. There must be a mistake, it's not my Ricky. It's not him…" Mrs Archer slumped back on the chair in shock.

"I am so sorry to have to ask you to do this, but we need to identify the body and if it is Ricky I can assure you we won't rest until we find out what happened to him." Alex said as she placed a comforting hand on Mrs Archers shoulder.

"C'mon then lets get it over with, cause I know it ain't my Ricky." She said in defiance.

* * *

The body that had been pulled from the river was positively identified as Ricky Archer, leaving his mother a broken woman. They had little else to go on and the task first thing in the morning would be to interview all of his known associates. Alex had ascertained that DC Palmer and WPC Brent actually had homes to go to before she sent them on their way to hopefully get a good nights rest, and she promised herself that tomorrow she would make the time to have a good chat with each of the new arrivals, as it seemed that at present Gene was unequal to the task. She had kept a covert eye on him all afternoon after his earlier brush off, he seemed to be silently brooding and drinking a lot. Alex wondered if she had done the right thing in leaving him alone for so long, and she went to see if he was ready to go home with her.

"Gene it's getting late, are you ready to go?" Alex asked as she stood in the doorway of his office.

"You get yerself off; I'll be a while yet." He said coldly.

She couldn't help but feel deeply hurt, she came back for him, she wanted to be with him and now it seemed that he couldn't bear to be in the same room as her.

"Gene please don't do this, not after everything, because if I haven't got you in this world then I haven't got anything." She said shakily as tears began to fall freely down her face.

Gene let out a heavy sigh and the sight of Alex crying tugged at his heartstrings, he was being a bastard and he knew it, but he couldn't help thinking that it would have been easier if she hadn't come back. He had forgotten the past once and he longed to forget it again, he missed his pals but they were where they should be and he had a job to do. He had resigned himself to carrying on without them and without her, yet here she was, a constant reminder of all he'd lost and who he was. It wasn't like before when he had fantasised about being with Alex, when he had imagined her wanting him like he wanted her. He knew she loved him now, infact she loved him so much she had turned her back on paradise for him but it could never feel the same as he had once imagined, not now they knew the truth. The road they were travelling down would one day take them to the Railway Arms together, at least he hoped it would. But all the things a living man might hope for would never be his, and his heart was breaking. It ached for the life he could never have, for the children and grandchildren that would never be and all the other hopes and dreams that were shattered by a life cut short. It wasn't Alex's fault though, and he couldn't blame her for coming back, he knew it wasn't right to leave her to break down in front of his eyes. He had never had the chance to fully mature into the man he always wanted to be in life, but in death he had kept growing and learning. Gene reasoned that maybe it was time to be that man now, and to leave the past where it belonged.

"Come 'ere yer soppy mare." He said taking her in a tight embrace and wrapping his strong arms around her. "I think what I need to remember is that I'm NOT that skinny, wet behind the ears, lad anymore." He said as he finally realised he could be the man that he had earned the right to be.

"I'm not sure I understand." Alex said with confusion.

"What I'm saying is, I'm Gene Hunt, and that's what I need to remember. It's no good dwelling on what never was that's just chasing rainbows. I did forget who I was Bol's but even worse; I was in danger of forgetting who I am. C'mon lets go over the road, I'll let yer cook me dinner and then…Y'know I noticed a few lumps in your mattress last night that could do with smoothing out." He said with a wicked grin.

"And he's back!" Alex said returning his smile.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for reading and please leave a review if possible xx**

Chapter 3

Alex looked up to check the time with the clock on the wall, 9:06 am, she gave an involuntary shudder. She glanced around CID and was happy to see DC Palmer and WPC Brent at their posts, but DS Freeman was again conspicuous by his absence. He finally stumbled in half an hour late and didn't even bother to explain his tardiness as he slumped down at his desk.

"DS Freeman, can I have a word?" Alex said as she swooped over and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck.

"You Darlin' can have as many words as you like." He slurred as Alex hauled him into the kitchen.

"You know I had a similar attitude when I first came here, I didn't take this world seriously, but that was a mistake. It is serious." Alex said as she got Freeman seated at the kitchen table and proceeded to make him a strong coffee.

"I know my career's in the crapper, that's why I'm in this hellhole. A mug of Maxwell House ain't gonna change that." Freeman drawled.

"Look Bryan, I don't know what brought you to this world, but believe me when I tell you that there are worse places you could have landed in. I know that right now you are feeling confused and adrift but you need to start being a part of this team. We can help you, if you'll let us." She said comfortingly.

Freeman took the coffee and started sipping it slowly.

"You didn't put any sugar in it." He spat.

"I think I've sugar-coated things enough!" Alex thought to herself as she shoved the sugar bowl over to him.

* * *

Gene was sifting through the statements relating to the murder of Ricky Archer when he spotted something of note that DC Palmer had scribbled down, he called him into his office...

"DC Palmer, Gary, we haven't had a chance to get to know each other yet, have we? Pull up a chair lad, I want to go through this statement you took earlier from Sid Lister, one of Ricky Archer's work pals." Gene directed.

"Yes Guv." Palmer said obeying.

"It says here that you asked Sid when he last saw his pal and he stumbled over the answer, first saying that he saw him last three nights ago in the local pub, then saying he hadn't seen him since they knocked off from work earlier that same day. When you pulled him up on it he said he'd made a mistake, because they usually met at the pub to play darts on a Tuesday night but on that occasion Ricky didn't show, that right?" Gene asked.

"Yes Guv." Gary replied.

"Right then, I want you and DS Freeman to go and pull him in because I think he knows more than he's saying, and right now this is the only sniff of a lead we've got." Gene instructed.

"Yes Guv." Palmer said as he got up in readiness to follow Gene's orders.

"Oh an' you can buy me a pint later and we'll have a proper chat, an' I hope your repertoire extends further than bloody 'Yes Guv'." Gene shouted after him.

Gary was about to say just that again when he stopped himself. "You're on Guv." He said with a smile.

* * *

Alex was filling in a report when she heard the sound of someone softly crying in the kitchen, she rushed over to see WPC Brent frantically trying to disguise her distress.

"Julie? What is it? Whatever's wrong?" Alex said as she moved to put a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"I'm alright Ma'am really, it must be me hormones or something I'm not usually one for crying." She explained dismissively.

"Come on Julie, sit down, let's have a nice cup of tea and a chat. It's just us girls together so if there's anything you want to talk about, and I mean anything." Alex said as she busied herself putting the kettle on.

"I, I just feel so alone, I know it's silly I mean I haven't been here two minutes, have I? So I can't expect anything else, but it's more than that and I don't know why but I feel like something's missing or someone." Julie explained.

Alex wondered if Julie had left a family behind when she had died, she was certainly of an age to have had children, and her transfer form did say Mrs Brent. It made her own heart ache as she thought about Molly and all the other loved ones left behind to carry on living after they were gone.

"What about your husband? Do you have any children?" Alex asked hesitantly for fear of sparking painful memories.

"I got divorced a couple of years ago and my son Harry is twenty now, he's at University. I don't see much of him these days." Julie said sadly.

Alex smiled sympathetically and wondered how Julie had come to be here, leaving another child motherless.

"You aren't alone you know, we're all in this together, now get that tea down you and later I'll buy you a glass or three of wine, o.k.?" Alex said with a reassuring smile.

"Alright Ma'am." Julie said as she managed a weak smile in return and began to sip at her tea.

* * *

It had been a draining day for Alex and she couldn't help but wish it would soon be over so that she could find comfort in Gene's arms. It was still only early afternoon though and Gene was waiting to interrogate his latest suspect.

"Where the bloody hell have them two goons got to? I sent 'em to pull Lister in over half an hour ago." Gene growled as he paced around his office.

"I'll get someone to radio them." Alex said as she was pondering what little she had learned so far of the new arrivals. "Maybe DS Freeman got thirsty again? You know Gene; I think he may have a drink problem." She confided.

"Give over woman, just because a fella likes a couple of drinks now and then it doesn't qualify him for alcoholics anonymous." Gene puffed.

"Well I'd say he likes more than just a couple of drinks, he rolled in half cut this morning for a start." Alex countered.

"If he'd been that drunk he wouldn't have managed to roll into work at all, give over fretting woman." Gene said dismissively.

"But we don't know these people yet, do we Gene? I've barely scratched the surface with them; I wouldn't be surprised if drink didn't play some part in Bryan's death though. Then there's DC Palmer, he had a funny turn when he saw Ricky Archers body yesterday and I don't think it was down to squeamishness. I've got to make time to have a proper chat with him and see what I can find out. I've chatted briefly to WPC Brent and I caught her crying earlier, I think there's something she remembers or almost remembers, maybe I could help her bring it to the surface." Alex mused.

"They'll remember when they're good and ready; it's not for us to play God." He said firmly.

"Funny, I thought that's exactly what you'd been doing here all these years." She said with sharpness she immediately regretted when she saw the hurt flash in his eyes. "I'm sorry Gene, I didn't mean that but it is our job to help them through all this, we know what our mission is in this world now and we can't just go on playing cops and robbers and keep ignoring the truth."

"I'm not ignoring anything Bolly, but if they are going to remember who they really are and why they are here, then they've got to keep on being the coppers that they've always been. That's what this world is all about, it's about getting the job done and then moving on." Gene stated with a certainty that ran deep within him.

Alex considered his words for a moment; she supposed that he was right after all that's what she had done and Ray, Chris and Shaz. They had kept working and learning until the job was done and the pub beckoned. She went over to put her arms around Gene and tenderly hugged him.

"I think I've still got a few lessons left to learn." She said apologetically as she moved to softly kiss him.

Gene smiled and returned her kiss. "You can stay behind after school to catch up."

* * *

The afternoon dragged on with Freeman and Palmer eventually returning with the suspect Sid Lister for interrogation. Gene still favoured the old fashioned methods but he wanted to see how his new DS and DC would handle the situation.

"Yer should've heard his life story by now, the time it took yer to fetch him in. I want yer to wring the truth out of him, he knows something about Archer's death and I want to know what it is. Now mush!" Gene commanded as he ushered them into the interview room with Lister. He wanted to show Alex that he had taken on board some of what she had said, and that he trusted his team to get the job done. He returned to his office to wait and poured himself a large scotch as a reward, he started to slowly sip it and his mind began to drift back in time to a place he had long forgotten...

_"Genie come outside yer Dad wants to take a picture of you in yer uniform." His Mum was beaming with pride._

_"Give over Mam, yer know I don't like havin' me picture took." He said bashfully_

_"Oh come on Gene, one for the mantelpiece eh?" She coaxed._

_"Oh alright, if it'll stop yer nagging." He relented._

_The sun was shining as he posed up against the side of the house with his police helmet under his arm._

_"Right then c'mon son, let's go and have a drink together, a proper drink, I've got a special single malt scotch, been saving it for...well I think it's time it had an airing." His Dad said giving him a hearty slap on the back._

Gene pulled out the top draw of his desk to reveal the picture that had been taken so long ago; he glanced down at it and took another sip from his glass. That had been the first time and the only time he had ever shared a drink with his father. He had never been able to tell his son that he was proud of him, but as Gene recalled that day he could see that his father had been trying to communicate his pride in him through that magical amber liquid, and it had never tasted sweeter.

A knock at the door broke his reverie and DC Palmer came in with news about the interrogation of the suspect.

"I think we've cracked him Guv, Lister has confessed, he said he argued with Archer over a woman they were both involved with and the argument got out of hand, he didn't mean to do it but in the heat of the moment he lashed out with his penknife, and that was it." Palmer explained.

"Good work detective constable Palmer, forget buying me a pint I owe you one and DS Freeman an' all." Gene said expressing his approval.

"Cheers Guv." Gary said as he walked out of the office smiling.

* * *

Gene had located a suitable drinking den for the team until Luigi's was ready to reopen under new management, it was a cosy wine-bar and restaurant a few streets away from the station called 'Almira's'.

"First round's on me for a job well done." Gene said as he got the drinks in.

Alex had found a table for them to all sit around and she seated herself next to Julie, so that they could have a quiet chat whilst the boys were still at the bar.

"How are you feeling now?" Alex asked with concern.

"Much better thank you, I've been making some friends at the station and I even caught sergeant Burns checking my bum out when I accidentally knocked some files on the floor." Julie replied with a warm smile.

"Oh really!" Alex exclaimed with surprise

"I think I'm gonna like it here after all, you've been so lovely to me and there's some tasty fella's at the station, mind you you've bagged the best one." Julie said with a conspiring wink.

Alex blushed as she was sure that they had been fairly discreet, and she had valiantly resisted all urges to molest Gene in public.

"Don't worry your secret's safe with me." WPC Brent said with a smile.

Just then Gene came over to the table to deliver their drinks, he noted Alex's discomfort and decided it was best if he kept things between them professional infront of the team. They didn't need to announce their relationship; it was a private thing and something too precious to treat as a trophy to be displayed for the public. They all raised their glasses in a toast to teamwork and a job well done, there was still a long way to go but they had made a start.

Alex noticed a sign on the wall as she got up to go to the toilet, it was a quote from the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu and it read _"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." _She smiled to herself as she passed by, and then she went to locate the ladies room and found herself passing the door that led out onto the street. It was flapping slightly in the wind and she could have sworn she heard her name being called, she pushed the door fully open and looked out but there was no one there, then she heard it again...

"Alex." A man's voice whispered.

"Who is it? Who's there?" She called apprehensively.

She cautiously stepped out onto the street with her eyes darting around for the source of the voice, and then out of the shadows a familiar figure appeared...

She gasped in shock and then quickly recovered herself, she didn't want to show him any fear.

"What the hell do you want?" She said with contempt.

"Funny you should mention hell, _I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death. _That's from the book of revelations; I told you I know the bible backwards." He said with a menacing sneer.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Thank you to everyone reading and reviewing etc It really means a lot to me :) xx**

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"What do you want Jim? Should I even be calling you Jim now, I mean it isn't even your name, is it?" Alex asked hesitantly as she moved back towards the door of the restaurant, her instincts told her to flee but her curiosity won out as she hovered in the doorway.

"Jim's a good name, I like Jim, he's one of the blokes is Jim, a man of the people." He said with smug grin.

Keat's noted Alex's reticence and he moved quickly to try and put her at ease, although he knew of course that his true intentions were anything but honorable.

"It's alright Alex, I'm not here to do you any harm, I play the game and I don't like losing is all, and I'll admit it I went a bit too far. But I'd been bottling it up for so long it just felt too damn good to finally let it all out. I am disappointed in myself for resorting to cheap conjuring tricks though, you're worth more than that Alex, and I'm gonna show you just how much you are worth." He said in the same smarmy manner he had used before his true nature had been brought to light.

"What do you mean?" Alex asked with concern.

"I was very surprised to see you back here, I mean where you went, well, people don't come back from **there** do they? Well maybe some do, the special ones...And here you are large as life and back working shoulder to shoulder with Gene, it fair warms the cockles of my heart. I said before that I play the game and I do, it's more fun that way, you got Ray, Chris and Shaz, I lost, end of. You can't win 'em all, can you? But we've been dealt a new hand now haven't we ay? With Bryan, Gary and Julie. Oh we're gonna have some fun with those three." He said with menacing glee.

"You leave them alone." Alex said issuing a defiant warning.

"Oh don't be like that, you all have free will Alex, all of you and I don't seek to change that. All I do is help to show people the way, you know everyone wants something it's only a matter of finding out what that something is. I know that people will walk willingly through the very gates of hell, for that one thing that they want so very much." Jim said with certainty.

"No. I know you're wrong, I wanted to be with Molly so badly but I didn't fall for your lies." Alex spat out scornfully.

"Like I said I shouldn't have resorted to cheap tricks, next time I'll be making you a better offer." He said with purpose.

"You keep away from us, all of us. You haven't got anything that I want and you won't get to the others either, because I'll warn them off." Alex said firmly.

"You're no fun anymore. Anyway we'll see, won't we? Let the games begin!" He said as he turned and walked back into the shadows.

Alex shuddered, and not because of the cold night air. She turned and went back into the restaurant, too lost in her own thoughts to notice that Gene had come to look for her. He had grown concerned about her extended absence and had wandered over to the bar to be closer to the exit, he had just been getting ready to go and knock on the door of the ladies when he caught sight of her. She looked pale and shaken and he moved towards her with concern in his eyes.

"What's up Bol's? You look like you've seen a ghost." He said and immediately regretted his choice of words.

Alex took a deep breath and paused for a moment, she knew she should tell Gene about Keats but now didn't seem like the time. She would wait until later when they were alone in her flat, things were still fragile with the new team and she didn't want to disrupt their first chance to socialise out of work.

"I'm fine Gene, just a bit tired, that's all" She said shrugging off his concerns. "Let's get back to the others before they think we've sloped off for a quickie." She said with forced jocularity.

"Oi, I don't do quickies." Gene grumbled.

Alex gave him a look of longing. "No, no you don't! That's why I'm so bloody knackered." She said teasingly.

Gene joined in her laughter and after getting more drinks they went to rejoin the team.

* * *

Alex snuggled deeper into Gene's embrace as they lay in bed together, there was a bitter winter chill in the air and she pulled the covers up higher to fend off the cold.

"Gene? Are you asleep?" She whispered.

"Bloody hell woman! You're insatiable." He said sleepily.

"No, it's not that, I've got something I need to tell you, I didn't want to spoil things with the new team at the restaurant and then I was going to tell you when we got back here, but we sort of got carried away in another direction...Anyway it's about Jim Keats." Alex stopped as she heard the sound of soft snoring.

"Gene?" She said raising her voice above a whisper but there was no response, he was dead to the world.

She sighed and vowed that she would tell him in the morning and it wasn't long before sleep claimed her and she was lost in a strange dream...

"_I don't want to set the world on fire_

_I just want to start a flame in your heart_

_In my heart I have but one desire_

_And that one is you_

_No other will do..."_

_The music swirled around her as she descended a grand marble staircase, dressed in an exquisite black satin ball gown and into the vibrant throng of a masquerade ball. The room was aglow with fiery oranges and reds, with candles burning and magnificent chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. She held up a bejewelled mask to cover her face as a masked man in elegant evening dress approached her, he held his hand out in an invitation..._

"_May I have this dance?"_

_She felt an overwhelming compulsion to accept and reached out to take his hand as he moved them gracefully towards the dance-floor._

"_I've lost all ambition for worldly acclaim_

_I just want to be the one you love_

_And with your admission that you feel the same_

_I'll have reached the goal I'm dreaming of."_

_They slowly glided around the floor and she melted in his arms, he moved to capture her lips softly with his own and she found she was powerless to resist._

"_Believe me_

_I don't want to set the world on fire_

_I just want to start a flame in your heart."_

_He parted from her reluctantly and overwhelmed with curiosity she reached up to remove his mask..._

_Jim Keats stood staring back at her with a wicked grin on his face as he descended into maniacal laughter._

_Suddenly the room grew stiflingly hot and she was overcome as smoke and flames seemed to engulf her, she screamed a desperate scream but no one around her cared, they were all lost in their own debauchery._

"_This is where you belong Alex, and everyone knows it but you."_

She woke up with a start to find herself sweating and shaking and turning to find comfort in Gene's arms, she found his side of the bed was empty.

"Gene?" She called trying not to sound desperate after the trauma of her nightmare, but there was no reply. Just then the phone by the bed began to ring and Alex reached over to answer it...

"DI Drake? I was looking for DCI Hunt, He is there I take it." Superintendent George Clarence asked in a formal but pleasant manner.

"He...I'm not sure." Alex stuttered as she craned her neck to listen for any audible trace of Gene in the flat, just then she heard the toilet flush and the bathroom door creak open.

"Gene? The super is on the phone, he wants to speak to you." She called as he strode back into the bedroom, naked and ruffled.

He took the receiver and gave a couple of grunts in assent at whatever it was that the super was saying to him. The phone call was of short duration and Gene soon set down the handset and went about getting ready for work.

"So? What was that all about?" Alex asked as she moved to get out of bed.

"Nothin' he just wants to see me when I get over the road." Gene said evasively.

"What for?" Alex persisted in her interrogation.

"Dunno, he didn't say." Gene shrugged off her questions as he hastily pulled on his clothes. "Ruddy hell, it's a good job I've got some clean shirts and shaving stuff over at the station or I'd have to spend the day looking like bloody Catweazle." He grumbled.

"You should bring some of your clothes and things here." Suddenly out of the blue, Alex found herself building up to asking Gene if he had considered the possibility of them moving in together, but past hurt left her unable to get the words out.

Gene sensed her intentions and his instincts were to flee. "I'll get over there now and get meself sorted, before I go up to see the super." He said as he was already heading for the door.

Alex was in a daze over the unexpected turn of events, and was unable to rally herself in time to call him back to tell him about her nightmare and Keats. She heard the door click as Gene left and she slumped back on the bed with a heavy sigh. Suddenly there was the sound of knocking and she jumped up and pulled on her robe and went to answer it, only to find there was no one there. But lying on the floor was a small package wrapped in brown paper with a card which read simply _"For Alex" _in bold black lettering.

* * *

Gene splashed cold water on his face and began to pat it dry as he thought about Alex and their relationship, it was everything he had wanted and more. In life he would never have dared to dream that someone like her would ever fall in love with him, indeed in this world he had doubted the possibility, and yet here they were. The truth about himself had forced him to face the limitations that this world had set against his deepest and innermost desires, but letting go of them was never going to be easy. He straightened his tie and headed off to the super's office, he had merely told Gene that they needed to talk on a matter of utmost importance but hadn't elaborated further.

Gene heard the welcoming voice of superintendent George Clarence bidding him to enter, even before he had the chance to knock on the door.

"Please take a seat Gene." He said with a sweep of his hand in the direction of the chair. "I'm sorry I had to summon you in such a mysterious manner, but we all find ourselves in uncharted territory at the moment, do we not? And unfortunately there have been a few oversights on my part, which I of course take full responsibility for but it is my duty to put them right." Clarence explained.

"I'm not sure I follow sir." Gene said with puzzlement.

"Well now, let me see if I can explain this in a way that is most likely to be understood. Did you ever believe in Father Christmas Gene?" The superintendent asked in a somewhat cryptic manner for all his talk of plain speaking.

"Eh? What's Father ruddy Christmas got to do with owt?" Gene asked with exasperation.

"Please just answer the question." Clarence said firmly.

Gene puffed and rolled his eyes as he considered it for a moment. "I 'spose I did, up until I were five or six but me dad soon put me right." He recalled.

"So you once believed in Father Christmas and all that goes with it, like him flying on a sleigh pulled through the sky by his reindeer's and coming down the chimney with a sackful of toys, and such like?" Clarence asked.

"I suppose so." Gene said perplexed, as he was still confused about the direction the conversation had taken.

"Well I suppose what I'm trying to get at, albeit in a slightly cock-eyed way, is that before you knew the truth of the matter you believed in all those possibilities and the world was a different place because of it. Once your father shattered your illusions those beliefs could no longer stand and you became disenchanted with the world. When we are told about Father Christmas we are being fed a lie, and I suppose we even suspect it is a lie deep down, but as a child a world where he exists is a place of wonderment and of joyful expectations. Now consider this world Gene, when you believed in it and all you and those around you could achieve in it, then it was a place of endless possibilities. But now you know the truth and this world that you created is in danger of disintegrating. The heart of the matter revolves around DI Drake's unique situation and I'm afraid we must all bear some degree of responsibility for it. If she had simply stayed here with you and not entered the pub, then you would have forgotten the truth about yourselves, and you would only have remembered again when you were both ready to leave this world behind. Alex has seem the ultimate truth now and can never forget, and she will have to shoulder that burden until she can free herself from it. You on the other hand can forget and you will, it would have happened already but your closeness to DI Drake has prevented it thus far. But like I said when we first met, nothing is ever truly forgotten and you will retain all you need to get you to the end of your journey." Superintendent Clarence said as he hoped he had made himself understood.

Gene's face was creased with concentration as he took in the super's words, he considered the matter briefly before responding. "What was the point of me remembering who I was in the first place? I mean if I have to forget again, what was the bloody point?"

"I'm afraid it was down to the interference of Jim Keats, the weakened state of this world after you accidentally shot DI Drake allowed him to get a foothold here, and he exploited that weakness for his own ends. He grew powerful at your expense and it almost cost you your team, but now you have the upper hand and he will try again to claim your new team for himself. If you trust in your instincts as you did before then I am sure all will be well, and you still have DI Drake by your side. " Clarence explained earnestly.

"Wouldn't it be better for me to remember everything about Keats and what he's after? And what about Alex? She should be here now listening to all this." Gene queried.

"Like I said you will retain all you need to get you safely to the Railway Arms and don't worry about Alex, she already knows." Clarence said reassuringly.

"But..." Gene was about to protest when the super interjected...

"Now then Gene, there's an end to the matter. When you leave this office it will be done and you will get on with job as you always have. The new team are shaping up nicely and I know you will do all you can to steer them in the right direction. When you reach the end of your journey there will be others waiting to take over, but they will shape this world in their own way, this world was created by you and so it will continue until your work here is done." Clarence said with a firm resolve.

Gene sat grim faced with a thousand thoughts swirling through his mind, the superintendent sensed his discombobulation and offered one final bit of advice.

"You know in life we forget things all the time, some things because they are insignificant and remembering them would serve no purpose, and some things because they are too painful to remember. But the important things are never truly forgotten, only mislaid until we need them and then we realise that we knew all along."

Gene nodded at Clarence's words and he got up to leave, the super also stood up and they shook hands in a gesture of solidarity. Gene opened the door and prepared to leave as Clarence offered a quote from Albert Einstein as a parting valediction.

"_Remember your humanity and forget everything else."_

_

* * *

_

Alex sat at her table staring at the small unopened package, still wrapped in brown paper with the card that read "For Alex" still attached. She hadn't been afforded the chance to open it earlier as no sooner had she picked it up and brought it inside, there had been another knock at the door. Superintendent George Clarence had come to see her in person to explain all he had soon after told Gene. He hadn't stayed long, just long enough to be sure she understood and to offer what reassurance it was in his power to give. The super also had the small battered tin that bore the likeness of the Queen on it, inside were the keepsakes that she would one day return to Gene, his epaulette number and the photograph of his younger self. Clarence bade her to take guardianship of them until the right time came to give them back to their rightful owner, and although it caused her pain she had reluctantly agreed. After he left Alex had rallied herself, she was used to doing that by now, she had got dressed for work and intended to head directly over to the station. After everything else that had happened to her that morning, she had quite forgotten the small package that had been left on her doorstep, until she spied it on the table on her way out. It had frozen her in her tracks and she went over to inspect it, the size and feel of it convinced her it was a video tape but she didn't unwrap it. Shaz had told her about the tapes that Keats had left for her and Ray and Chris, the ones that revealed to them their deaths. Alex remembered being shot by Arthur Layton only too clearly, so what purpose she mused, could be served by Keats sending her a tape of that? No, whatever was on that tape she was sure it wasn't that, but what was it? She knew she should probably dispose of it and disengage herself immediately from Keat's mind games, but curiosity got the better of her and she ripped the brown paper open. Inside and just as she suspected was a video tape, a betamax tape for which she had no working player in the flat, but there was one at the station. She slipped the tape into her bag and headed over the road.

[ "_I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire_" Words and Music by Eddie Seiler, Sol Marcus, Bennie Benjemen and Eddie Durham. The version I had in mind was the one by The Inkspots]


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to everyone reading & reviewing etc, it really does mean the world to me to know that people are enjoying what I'm writing.**

**I hope you will all continue to read this fic and please leave a review if possible, it's good to know what's working for people & what isn't.**

**Thanks again xx**

Chapter 5

Alex arrived at the station to find it buzzing with a vibrancy she hadn't seen for months, the reception area was full to bursting with all manner of people shouting for attention. She stole a quick look in the direction of the office that Jim Keats had once occupied, and clutching her bag to her side she prepared to go and use the Betamax video player he had installed there.

"Ma'am the Guv wants to see you, he said it's urgent." Sergeant Frank Burns called after Alex as she was striding down the corridor. She sighed and carried on past her intended destination and towards CID, she wondered how Gene would be now that he had again forgotten his purpose and his reason for being in this world. She hesitated at the doors for a moment as the realisation hit her that she faced the loss of him as a confidant. The weight of knowing the truth of this world hadn't seemed so unbearable when she could share it with Gene, and now - now it felt crushing. Suddenly the doors swung open and Gene came crashing through them, followed swiftly by DS Freeman and DC Palmer.

"There yer are Bol's, I thought yer'd got tangled up in yer eiderdown. You and me are going to St Joseph's hospital to interview the victim of a serious assault, while Keith Harris and Orville here go and interview the witness." Gene instructed as Alex turned on her heel to follow after him.

"Is everything alright?" Alex asked tentatively as she didn't want him to think anything was amiss, but she wondered if he had noticed that anything was different after his chat with the super.

"Never been better." He said as he strutted out to the waiting pool car. "A Ford Capri, just like Bodie and Doyle." He gave her a smouldering look as he revved the engine up.

Alex managed a trace of a smile as they set off for the hospital.

"So the assault victim, any details?" Alex asked as she welcomed the chance to immerse herself in a new case, and to divert her thoughts from other matters.

"His name is Kenneth Claypole, he's fifty one and a photographer, he takes school portraits and the like. He was on his way home last night when he was attacked from behind, he's got lots of cuts and bruises and some broken ribs. He was clobbered on the head and the doctor says he's got concussion so we might not get much sense out of him. The attack was witnessed by a neighbour, and Freeman and Palmer are gonna interview her." Gene explained.

They arrived at the hospital after the short journey and made their way up the stairs to seek out the patient. Kenneth Claypole was a pitiful sight to behold, he was of slight build with a barely open black eye and a cut lip, his head had also been bandaged to cover a nasty gash that had required ten stitches. Alex eyed him sympathetically and she took a seat next to his bed before addressing him.

"Mr Claypole I am DI Drake and this is DCI Hunt, I know you're feeling very fragile but if there is anything you can tell us, anything that would help us to catch whoever did this. Do you know why anyone would want to hurt you? She asked.

"Who called you? I didn't ask for the police." Claypole said apparently perturbed by their presence.

"Yer've been battered half to death man, if they'd finished the job it'd be murder and yer wouldn't be complaining then, would yer?" Gene said as his temper was roused.

"Mr Claypole if you know who did this you need to tell us, we are here to help and whoever did this needs to be stopped." Alex interceded.

"Look I didn't see anything and I don't know anything, alright?" Claypole replied curtly.

"If you're protecting someone or you're afraid..." Alex was cut off as Gene interjected.

"Fine, well we'll be off then, because it looks like whoever did this knocked the sense out of yer as well." He said with exasperation as he started to walk away, but then he turned back as an anomaly about the time of the attack occurred to him. "Just one question - Why were you leaving work so late? I mean it was gone eleven by the time your neighbour saw you being attacked."

"I often stay at the studio long after closing to develop the rolls of film, I have my own developing room there." Claypole replied.

"Right, good, mystery solved then." Gene said as he turned again and walked away.

"We'll be in touch Mr Claypole." Alex said as she got up to follow after her Guv.

* * *

Back at the station DC Palmer was about to brief his senior officers on the statement he and Freeman had taken from the witness to the assault on Mr Claypole.

"Where's Freeman?" Gene asked as he noted the absence of his DS.

"He was just here." Palmer replied with confusion as he looked around the office.

"Nevermind. So you and the invisible man talked to Cynthia Barratt, Kenneth Claypole's next door neighbour? What did she have to say for herself then?" Gene inquired.

"Well, she said it was around eleven o clock last night when she was just on her way up to bed that she heard a commotion outside. She looked out to see two men kicking someone lying on the ground, she said she called out and the men ran off. Then Mrs Barratt called an ambulance, she said she went and waited with him while the ambulance came and Mr Claypole was slipping in and out of consciousness. She said that he kept muttering that they knew about the photographs." Palmer explained.

"Who knew what about the photographs? What bloody photographs?" Gene asked.

"Mrs Barratt didn't know anything else, she didn't get a clear look at the men because it was too dark, she could only say that they definitely were men from their build." Palmer answered.

"What about Claypole? Do we know anything else about him? I mean apart from him being a grumpy bugger, who wouldn't know what was good for him if it smacked him over the head!" Gene ranted.

"Well, as we know he's a photographer, mostly taking school portraits, you know the ones they charge parents a small fortune to buy of their little cherubs? Anyway he has a small studio shop on the the high street and he lives alone, never been married. He did live with his mother until she passed away five years ago and the house was originally hers, so Mrs Barratt says, Claypole inherited it after her death." Palmer relayed all he had managed to find out about the victim.

"Maybe we should take a little trip to Claypole's studio?" Gene suggested.

"I just spoke to the hospital and they said that Claypole discharged himself against doctor's orders just after you left." WPC Brent informed them.

"C'mon then Bolly, lets go and see what David Bailey has been snapping." Gene grabbed his coat and headed off.

Gene and Alex had barely got themselves seated in the Capri when the radio crackled and Palmer's voice called for their attention...

"What is it Gary?" Gene asked.

"Body of a young man has just been found round the back of Winton's Newsagents, looks like he was beaten to death. Winton's Newsagents is only three shops down from Kenneth Claypole's Photographic studio." Palmer explained.

"Right me and DI Drake will head over there now, you'd best go and find DS Freeman and get yer arses over to Claypole's studio, see if yer can find him. There's something funny going on here and I'm not getting the joke." Gene said angrily as he revved up the engine.

* * *

Gene stood over the body with a thoughtful frown. "How come you've only just found the body? I mean it's getting on for midday." He quizzed Alf Winton the owner of the newsagents, he was a small rotund man in his fifties.

"I came in the front way and so did the paper boys. I've been rushed of my feet all morning and when things quietened down a bit I went to put some rubbish out back, and that's when I saw him. It gave me quite a shock I can tell you." Mr Winton explained.

The pathologist had determined that the body, a man in his late twenties or early thirties, had been there overnight and estimated the time of death to be between 10 pm and midnight the previous evening. There was evidence that the man had been attacked in the alley that led to the back of the newsagents, and then the body had been dragged the short distance to the back of the shop, where a few flattened boxes had been laid over it in a half-hearted attempt to hide him.

"Do we know who he is?" Gene asked of no one in particular.

"Well his face looks quite a fright now, but I've seen him around. I don't know his name but Mr Claypole might, I've seen him going in his studio." Mr Winton elaborated.

"Bloody Claypole again!" Gene said with exasperation.

Just then the radio crackled...

"Guv? You'd better get here quick, Freeman's gone beserk." DC Palmer's voice rang out.

"What? Where are yer?" Gene roared.

"Claypole's studio." Palmer answered.

Gene and Alex sprinted the short distance over to the studio to find photographs scattered everywhere, and Palmer stood looking bewildered in the midst of it.

"What the hell's gone on here?" Gene growled at his young DC.

"We got here a few minutes ago, the door was unlocked so we just came in and then DS Freeman started acting sort of strange, he starts ranting and raving and the next thing I know he's pulling the photo's out of their boxes, like he's looking for something. I tried to stop him and he suddenly just froze and then ran out. There's no sign of Claypole here and uniform said he's not answering at home either." Gary explained.

"Had Freeman been drinking?" Alex asked Gary quietly.

"Maybe, he seemed out of it." He replied.

"What a ruddy shambles! Well we'd better see if there's anything here worth a clobbering." Gene said with increasing irritation as he started to pick over the discarded pictures.

* * *

After drawing a blank at the studio the team, minus DS Freeman had returned to the station to concentrate their efforts on identifying the dead man. There was no ID on the body, but it didn't appear that robbery was the motive for the attack, as he had over a hundred pounds in cash left untouched in his wallet. Alex was too preoccupied with worrying about their missing team member to focus on the case, and she intended to cautiously broach the subject with Gene. She wanted to mention Keats but wasn't sure how far she should go down that road, now that Gene had forgotten about his true nature again. She hovered in the doorway of his office...

"Maybe I'll just pop over the road and see if Bryan is in his flat." She said as she turned to leave.

"You stay where you are, we are policemen not bloody nurse maids Bolly. He'll come back when he's ready and I'll be here waiting." Gene said with an air of menace.

"I told you before that I was worried about his drinking, and there's something else, something we need to get to the bottom of. I don't think that a good punch up is going to be the answer somehow." She said with disapproval at sensing Gene's intended 'solution' to the problem.

Gene scowled back at her and things between them suddenly became tense. She intended to make vague mention of the veiled threats that Keats had made the previous evening, but there was a sudden development on the Claypole case. DC Palmer came crashing into the office...

"What the bloody hell..." Gene growled.

"Sorry Guv but they've just found Claypole's body." Gary said apologetically. "They found him in an old school building not far from here that's undergoing renovations. The workmen went out for lunch and when they returned they found Claypole, strung up by the neck and hanging from the rafters."

"The daft bugger should've stayed in hospital, he didn't know when he was well off. What about the other body, do we have any name for him yet?" Gene asked.

"No, we're still checking the records." Palmer replied.

"Right then we'd better go and see if we can make any sense of all this before any more bodies turn up." Gene said as he reached for his coat.

* * *

Later back at the station Gene and Alex were discussing how the Claypole case had panned out, as the rest of the team were preparing for home time.

"So, we've got one man beaten to death more or less on the doorstep of Claypole's photography studio, then Claypole gets a beating on his way home. He refuses to co-operate with us when we visit him in hospital and discharges himself soon afterwards. Next thing he turns up dead and we're still none the wiser, are we Bolly?" Gene asked hopefully, as he knew she would probably have some theory cooking away in that brain of hers.

"Well I think we'd better go and take a look around Claypole's house first thing, and his studio needs going over again. There's something we're missing and I'm sure the key to it is right under our noses." She replied thoughtfully.

"Uniform have been through the house and the studio, and they've found bugger all." Gene countered.

"I still think we've missed something and we still haven't got any ID on the other body yet, maybe when we find out who he is we'll be closer to solving the case." Alex said as her mind drifted back to DS Freeman and his continued absence. She was worried, not only about his drinking and behaviour, but that he may be vulnerable to any approach from Jim Keats. He needed to be warned and it was her duty to do that, now that Gene had forgotten his role in protecting these people and in helping them to find salvation.

"Right lunch time, I think I fancy something hot and spicy tonight." Gene said with a suggestive look.

Alex felt conflicted, she didn't want to make Gene think she was cooling off on their relationship but she knew there were higher things at stake. It wasn't going to make things between them any easier now that Gene had forgotten about their shared purpose in this world, and she feared things would regress back to the way they used to be. She was still determined to call on DS Freeman and she wasn't really in the mood for curry and a pint.

"I was going to go straight home tonight, I haven't really got much of an appetite." She said casually and vainly hoped Gene wouldn't read anything else into it.

"Oh, so bugger off Gene, eh? You've had yer bit of rough and scratched yer itch, and there was me thinking yer wanted to play house. I thought yer were asking me to bring me toothbrush this morning?" He said barely disguising the hurt with his brusque tone.

"Please, lets not do this, I can't bear it. I do love you Gene, you know I do so lets not start playing silly games again. Go and have your curry and pint and then go and pack yourself a bag and bring it back to the flat, I'll be waiting." She said firmly, refusing to fall back into the old patterns of argument and avoidance that had kept them apart for so long in the past.

"O.k, right, I'll see yer later then." He said chastened, as he grabbed his coat and walked out of the office.

Alex grabbed her things and headed off to call on Freeman.

* * *

The door to Luigi's old flat was slightly ajar when Alex got there, she called out to it's present occupant but there was no reply. She pushed the door open and walked in and found herself stepping on broken glass, the kitchen floor was covered in shards of various sizes from wine and whisky bottles. Suddenly she noticed spots of blood that trailed into the other room, a fearful panic crept over her as she carefully but swiftly followed the trail.

"Bryan? Bryan it's DI Drake, Alex." She called out as she desperately looked for any trace of him.

Then she heard a soft whimpering sound coming from the bedroom and finally caught sight of Freeman slumped on the bed and sobbing against his pillow. His feet were covered in dry blood and there was a half empty bottle of vodka on the dresser next to the bed.

"Bryan? Please talk to me, please let me help you, look at what you're doing to yourself. What happened earlier, at Claypole's studio? He didn't move or reply but she pressed on. "You are here for a reason Bryan, and I can help you find out what that reason is, but you need to talk to me, you need to trust me. Believe me when I say that I can help you, because you need help and right here, right now I'm the only person who can."

"Can you grant wishes?" Freeman eventually asked as he turned his tear-stained face to look in her direction.

"Why don't you tell me what you want to wish for, and we'll see." Alex replied with sincerity.

"Nice try but it's no use, no one can ever put right what's gone wrong, I know that now at least." He said in sad defeat.

"Bryan what happened today? Why did you run off like that? We were worried." Alex coaxed.

He sniffed and let out a heavy sigh.

"I don't know, I thought...well I'm not sure now what I thought. There was something about that place that seemed familiar to me, like I'd been there before and there was something else...I don't know." He said as he struggled to unearth the memories, he sniffed back the tears and reached for the vodka bottle. "You think I can drink? You should have met my mother, I'm an amateur compared with her. We didn't dare have her cremated when she died for fear the whole crematorium would go up with her, her blood must have been one hundred per cent proof by the end. My dad was in the building trade and he worked away a lot, he didn't know or care what was going on with her or us, he sodded off altogether when I was ten, and our Betsy, my sister, was four. She had other fella's in, my mother, and she was too drunk to care what was going on, we always got the sharp end of it. I remember there was this one bloke, Carl I think his name was, he started hanging around when I was about eight or nine. He always had money and he could see that we weren't getting fed properly, so he'd bung me a fiver here and there to go to the chip shop or to get a bit of shopping in. Then one day he holds up a wad of tenners, and he says - How would you like all this money? You can spend it on whatever you want, you just have to do a few little favours for me first. Well I'd never seen that much money before in my life, and with mummy dearest spending every penny on booze I thought yeah, why not, I could save that for when me and Betsy needed something to eat, or maybe I could buy my sister a doll, she never even had a doll. So I said 'O.k then, what do I have to do?' And he says 'Oh nothing much, just let this bloke I know take some pictures of you and your sister, that's all.' It sounded so easy, I'd get all that money just for us having our picture taken..." He stopped talking and started to laugh, a mirthless and hollow laugh and then he took a large swig of vodka. "Only these weren't the kind of happy family portraits that photographers charge a small fortune for. Oh no, these were the kind of pictures that men in brown macs pay a small fortune for." He took another large gulp of vodka and almost drained the bottle.

Alex looked on with horrified pity at what Freeman was implying, perhaps that was why he had come back to this time, to see Kenneth Claypole brought to justice. If he was the same man who had taken, what Bryan was implying were pornographic pictures of children, then that would certainly help to explain why he had been attacked and later murdered. The other murdered man might be this 'Carl' that he remembered.

"I'm tired now, if you wouldn't mind sodding off." Freeman slurred as he flopped back on the bed.

"I'll come back in the morning and make sure you get in to work, we need you there Bryan." Alex said softly as she could hear him already starting to snore.

Alex gave him one last sympathetic look as she set about removing the remaining alcohol from the flat. She swept up the broken glass and wiped the kitchen floor, then she had a quick tidy round the rest of the flat. There was a large bunch of keys hanging up on a hook near the door, and she recognised one of them was a spare for her flat. She unhooked it from the rest and put it in her pocket, with the intention of presenting it to Gene later that evening. She stepped out into the passage to see Gene walking up the stairs towards her, he was carrying a large holdall and a takeaway bag from 'Kashmir and Curry'.

"What's this Bolly? Not two-timing me are yer?" Gene said flippantly but with a look that revealed his vulnerability.

Alex gave him a disapproving glare. "I told you I wanted to check on Freeman, he needs our help and we aren't going to let him down." She said resolutely.

"My boot might still need to have a few words with his arse." Gene said with a pout as he hauled his bags into Alex's flat. " I brought us a curry, you need feeding up Bolly, I'm not going out with a skinny bird." He said in jest.

Alex returned his smile and she went to follow him into the flat, suddenly her bag slipped from her shoulder and she tried to catch it. The bag landed with a thud on the floor and the contents spilled out, including the video tape she had intended to watch but had again forgotten all about in the whirl of the days events. Gene spied the tape as Alex began picking up her things.

"What's that Bolly? A mucky video?" He asked mischievously.

"It's nothing important." She said as she stuffed it back into her bag, Keats had distracted her from what was important before, she was determined that he wouldn't do it again. But yet she was holding on to it, what if it was important? She would watch it tomorrow. "Didn't you say you wanted something hot and spicy? She grinned at Gene. "Come on then, we'll have the curry after."


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to everyone reading and please leave a review if possible, I like to know what people think of what I am writing, all constructive criticism is welcome :)**

**I should just restate that I own nothing - nothing but a laptop and an active imagination!**

Chapter 6

Alex looked over at the bedside clock as moonlight lit up the room with its silvery glow, it was almost two in the morning and sleep was proving elusive. Gene was slumbering soundly and Alex almost envied him as he looked so peaceful. She suddenly found her mind was full of the kind of melancholic thoughts that sometimes creep into ones head in the wee small hours. The reality of this world was not one she liked to dwell on for too long, but she couldn't afford to ignore it either, there was too much at stake. She had given Gene the key to the flat earlier, and instead of it feeling like some grand gesture of commitment between them, it seemed like nothing more than a hollow gesture. Gene had silently accepted the key she had offered him, with a small smile he had slipped it into his top pocket and no further reference had been made to it. All the insecurities and relationship fears that had crippled her emotionally for years after Pete walked out had proved to be insignificant now. The scars were still there of course but like so many other things from her mortal life, they were but ghosts of memories now. She loved Gene and their time together was precious, but it wasn't the same. In the real world she would have been hopeful and fearful in equal measure about how their relationship would play itself out, but here in this world the end destination was already known. Alex dropped a soft kiss on Gene's forehead as she eased herself out of bed; she quietly got dressed and slipped out of the bedroom. She idly wandered over to the window and found herself staring up at the moon and the stars. She had wondered for so long what it had meant, when she had first seen all those stars before her. The answer hadn't been what she had expected or wanted after she had endured for so long, but it was what it was and she had come back to ensure that Gene didn't have to fight the good fight alone. Here reverie was broken when her eye was suddenly drawn to the street below, there a familiar figure was looking up at her and grinning. She grabbed her coat and silently exited the flat, she was determined that Keats wouldn't get the whip hand this time. He was stood basking in the moonlight, his head angled upwards as she came upon him.

"Taking the moonlight Alex?" Keats asked unable to conceal his amusement as he turned to look into her eyes.

"What do you want?" She asked unwilling to engage in his banter.

"What do I want? Um let's see now - Peace on Earth and goodwill to all men? Well it is almost that time of year again, isn't it?" He said playfully whilst still grinning.

"I'm tired and it's late, so say what you came here to say and then kindly sod off back to whatever pit it was that you crawled out of." Alex said with contempt.

Keats's face contorted into a sneering look. "That's not very nice Alex, and after I left you such a thoughtful gift the other day. Did you like it?" He asked.

"If you are referring to the video tape, then I haven't watched it." Alex said dismissively.

"How ungrateful, and after I went to all that trouble on your behalf. I thought you might enjoy it, is all. Oh and by the way, it isn't late and you're not tired, you'll never be tired again." Keats said with stern admonishment.

"It's two o' clock in the morning!" Alex exclaimed.

"What is time to us Alex? Or sleep to the eternal sleepers? Still, I'll play along with your delusions, for now. I'll let you get back to your lover boy." He said overemphasising the word 'boy'.

Keats cast one last disdainful look in Alex's direction.

"You still haven't told me what you came here for." Alex said with confusion at his behaviour.

"Who said I came to see you?" he said with a wink as he walked away humming the tune to 'God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen'.

"Oh no! Bryan." Alex gasped in fear as she rushed up to his flat.

* * *

"Bryan? Bryan? Are you alright?" Alex shouted as she pounded on the door of his flat.

The door was firmly locked and there was no reply, she kept hammering and shouting but to no avail. Then suddenly there was a thundering noise behind her as Gene came marching down the hall. He had dressed in haste and his shirt was hanging open over his trousers, with only a couple of the lower buttons fastened.

"Bloody hell Bolly! What's going on? Your hollering is enough to wake the dead." He roared grumpily.

"I'm worried about Bryan, he isn't answering the door. He might be hurt or..." She stopped short, unable to fully explain her concerns.

"Or he might be asleep! It is the early hours of the sodding morning after all." Gene said with exasperation.

"Break the door down Gene, please, for me?" She begged.

"You lady are off your bloody rocker!" He exclaimed.

"Gene?" She gave him another pleading look.

"Oh alright!" He said relenting as he charged at his target.

There was an almighty crash as the door flew off its hinges and fell to the floor. Alex and Gene stepped over it as they entered the flat in search of DS Freeman.

"Bryan?" Alex called out as she searched around for any trace of him, but the flat was empty.

"Looks like he's not at home." Gene said with a hint of sarcasm as he seated himself at the kitchen table, and started to pour out a drink from the three quarters full scotch bottle that was standing upon it.

"Where did you get that from?" Alex asked with alarm as she snatched the bottle from his hand. She glanced at the brand label with disgust as she set it back down on the table, 'Jim Beam' she supposed Keats found that amusing.

"I removed all of the bottles earlier; there was nothing alcoholic left in this flat." She explained.

"Maybe he had it hidden somewhere? Anyway, what the heck were yer doing taking all his drink? No wonder he's buggered off." Gene said incredulously.

"I'm worried for him Gene; he told me things, things I suspect he's never told anyone before. His mother was an alcoholic, and he is too by the looks of things. If we don't help him then there are others who are waiting to swoop in, and I fear what will become of him then." She explained as much as she dare without revealing her suspicions about Keats' hand in it, and his role in the grand scheme of things.

"What are yer twittering on about woman? The man's had a hard life, he likes a drink and he stays out all night, so what? All sounds perfectly normal to me." Gene said nonplussed.

Alex looked over at him with a sad expression that he couldn't fathom, and she decided no good would come of them continuing this discussion. She had to admit defeat for now, there was no clue as to where Freeman might have gone and nothing would be gained by heading out on a wild-goose chase. She put in a quick call to the station to ask uniform to keep an eye out for him, to Gene's disapproval. But he wasn't in possession of the full facts anymore, and if she had to defy him to save Freeman then she would without hesitation.

"Come on, let's go back to bed." She said wearily.

"First sensible thing you've said all night." Gene replied in a sniping tone as they headed back to her flat.

* * *

The morning dawned and over at the station the business of the day rolled on, with only Alex seemingly concerned by DS Freeman's absence. There had been a break on identifying the beaten murder victim, when his details were matched with a man wanted for fraud. The dead man was named as Jason Jones; he was twenty nine years old and had been wanted for obtaining money by passing fraudulent cheques. They had his last known address and Gene, Alex and DC Palmer set off to try and uncover more about him, including finding out how he was connected to Kenneth Claypole. Alex kept turning over in her mind what Bryan had told her, about the man named Carl who had befriended him, and the indecent photograph's that she assumed Claypole had taken. She had already confided some of what she knew to Gene but he had been reluctant to accept what she was implying, because the evidence didn't support it, yet. The address they had was on a run down estate, where children ran feral and the debris of a broken society was there for all to see.

"This is probably a complete waste of time; I mean Jason Jones hasn't lived here for well over a year as far as we know." Alex said dismissively.

"Well it's all we've got Bolly, so let's see shall we?" Gene said as they walked up the stairs to the third floor flat, it looked occupied so they rang the bell and waited.

After a few seconds a bedraggled looking young woman opened the door, she looked the worse for drink and she had to prop herself against the door frame to stay upright.

"What d'ya want?" She slurred.

Alex thought of what Bryan had said about his mother as she observed this poor wretch of a woman, it couldn't be her could it? She stepped forward to address her.

"I am detective inspector Alex Drake and these are my colleagues DCI Hunt and DC Palmer, we have this as the last known address for a man called Jason Jones. Did you know him? Miss..?" She said hesitantly after realising she didn't know the woman's name.

"I don't know any Jason Jones." She slurred as she was about to slam the door on them.

Gene stuck his foot in the way.

"What's yer name love?" He asked.

"April Freeman." she replied and Alex's heart froze. "I told ya I don't know this Jones fella, I'm a respectable married woman." She protested.

Alex thought about the man that Bryan had said was called Carl and wondered if it might have been an alias that Jones had used.

"What about Carl?" Alex asked Mrs Freeman and she saw the shock register on her face. Gene cast a confused look in Alex's direction but he stayed silent and let her continue.

"I - I'm not sure who you mean." She slurred although it was obviously a lie.

"You had a friend called Carl, your son told me. Did he ever live here?" Alex pressed on.

"What d'ya mean my Bryan told ya? Carl Clarke was just a family friend that's all, and he never lived here." April Freeman said defensively. "This is harassment, this is. I've already had one of your lot round here this morning, asking all kinds of funny questions..."

Suddenly their attention was diverted by the sound of screams and pandemonium breaking out on the street below. Mrs Freeman was seemingly oblivious, probably due to her inebriated state, and she kept blathering on about her visitor while Gene and DC Palmer went to investigate the disturbance. Alex stayed put and tried to make sense of her drunken ramblings, and was eventually able to deduce that someone calling themselves DS David Cameron had called on her earlier that morning. It appeared from the description Mrs Freeman gave, that DS Cameron was indeed DS Bryan Freeman and it sounded as though he had remembered everything about himself. Alex was about to embark on another line of questioning when the sound of sirens drowned her out, she looked over the balcony to see two fire engines, one ambulance and a police car arriving in the forecourt below. Then she heard Gene bellowing for her attention and she turned to excuse herself to Mrs Freeman, only to find she had already retreated into her flat and closed the door.

Alex jogged down to the ground floor where Gene was waiting for her, he kept looking upwards to the top of the block of flats and she wondered what all the commotion was about.

"Gene? What's going on?" She called out as he was moving back to get a better view.

"Look up there." He said pointing up to the roof of the block of flats. "Some silly bugger's threatening to jump."

Alex could just about make out the figure of a man teetering precariously close to the roof edge, she squinted her focus and gasped in horrified shock as she recognised who he was.

"Oh no! It's Bryan." She gasped as she started to run over to the stairs.

"Eh? What are yer on about woman?" Gene asked in confusion.

"Up there, it's Bryan, DS Freeman, I told you he was in a state but you wouldn't have it and now look at him. I'm going up there to try and talk him down." Alex called out as she began to race up the stairs to the roof.

"I'll come wi' yer." Gene shouted after her as he ran to catch up.

"No. Stay down there and keep everyone else away, I might be able to get through to him, I think he trusts me." Alex said as she gave him a pleading look for understanding and compliance.

Gene quickly relented as he knew she was capable of handling these kind of situations far better than he ever could, he turned back to organise the chaos on the ground.

* * *

Alex reached the fire escape ladder that lead up to the roof and she stopped briefly to catch her breath, and to steel herself for what might lie ahead. She climbed the steps carefully and slowly moved to step out on to the flat surface. She could see Bryan was now sat on the edge of the roof with his feet dangling over the side. She needed to attract his attention but with his position being so perilous she didn't want to alarm him.

"Bryan?" She called softly. "Bryan, it's Alex, I won't come any closer but I need to talk to you, that's all."

He didn't move or look round but he acknowledged her presence. "Just go and leave me alone, are you bloody haunting me or something?." He said brusquely.

"Bryan I told you when you first came here that I understood what you were going through, and I do. I can help you make sense of all this if you'll let me, trust me this isn't the way out of it." She said pleadingly.

"I told you this wasn't my world, I thought I was going mad but I tried to get on with it, you said I should get back to work and carry on as normal. This isn't normal though is it? I've just had a conversation with my mother and she's been dead for over twenty five years, so that's definitely not normal is it? And all that stuff I remembered last night, all that happened when I was a kid in November 1982 and here we are in December 1983. How is that even possible? I'll tell you something else as well, I was living in 2010, I remember it, I remember my silver Audi A5 Cabriolet and my iPhone, I remember my fifty inch flat screen TV." He stopped and put his head in his hands.

"I know Bryan, you aren't mad believe me, I came from the future too and I know what you're going through, you aren't alone." Alex said sympathetically.

"No. I am alone, I've always been alone, even when I think people care about me, when they tell me they love me, they always leave me in the end. My father, my mother, my sister, everyone who was supposed to care for me, my wife, she left me too and I was all alone again. I couldn't take it and I turned to drink. Do you know I never touched a drop of alcohol until I was thirty three years old; I didn't want to end up like my mother you see. But in the end I just didn't care, I started drinking when I was thirty three and I didn't stop until I'd destroyed everything that ever meant anything to me, my marriage, my career, everything. I used to have trouble sleeping and the drink didn't help so I went to the doctor and got some pills, I just wanted to get some sleep. It turns out mixing sleeping tablets and whisky works, if you want to sleep forever." Bryan finished talking and pulled himself up to stand on the edge of the roof.

"Bryan, please, this isn't the way. How did you remember everything? Did someone called Jim Keats come to see you last night?" Alex asked as she was desperately afraid of what Freeman might do next.

"Yeah, he helped me to remember, but I think I knew all along, in my heart. I can't stay here." He said firmly as he balanced unsteadily on the roof edge.

"We need you with us Bryan, you're one of the team now and we need your help to find out what happened to Kenneth Claypole and the other dead man. That other man could be the man you knew as Carl, the one who befriended you and then exploited you. Don't you want to find out? Don't you want to help us finish the job? Come on Bryan, you're a copper and a good copper, I know you are." Alex pleaded.

"I remembered Claypole had a safe in the floor of his office at the photography studio, you should find what you're looking for in there." Bryan took a deep breath and stretched his arms above his head in preparation to jump.

"No Bryan, please." Alex called out desperately as she moved a little closer to where he was standing.

"It's alright Alex, it won't hurt. I'm already dead." He said calmly as he let himself drop off the edge of the roof.

Alex screamed until no sound was left to come out and then finally she slumped to the floor, sobbing and shaking with rage at her failure.

* * *

The station was buzzing with news of DS Freeman's death and everyone was solemnly mourning, they might not have known him that well but he was one of their own and it mattered. Gene was busy filling in forms and barking out orders to everyone around him, he had been affected by the loss of his detective sergeant but he was dealing with it the only way he knew how - which was to get on with his job. Alex had been quiet and distant since their return to the station, and now she was just sat at her desk staring into space. Gene wanted to say something to ease her suffering but he wasn't sure what, he wasn't good at that sort of thing.

"Why don't yer get off home Bolly, yer no good to man or beast here." He said more bluntly than he intended to, but her grief over Freeman was making him uneasy in a way he didn't understand.

Alex wasn't in a mood to argue, she felt desolate and inadequate. She had failed Bryan when he had most needed her help, and now she didn't know what had become of him. Had he made it to the pub or was he in another place? It tore her up inside to think about his fate and as much as she loved Gene, in that moment she wished she had never come back.

"I'll see yer later then." Gene called after her as she walked out of CID, but she didn't reply.

She continued walking blankly down the corridor until she found herself coming automatically to a halt outside the former office of DCI Keats. She pushed the door open and negotiated the pile of junk that had been gathering in there, both before and since his departure. The Betamax video player was at the back of the office and was still connected to the TV, also still there gathering dust. Alex rummaged around in her bag for the tape that Keats had left for her, and upon finding it she slid it into the machine and pressed play. She hitched her breath in anticipation of what she might be about to see, as the picture blinked into focus...

_"Happy birthday to you,_

_Happy birthday to you,_

_Happy birthday dear Molly,_

_Happy birthday to you."_

_"Thank you all for coming on this special day, I am no good at speeches but I just wanted to say happy 13th birthday to my special girl, now grown up into a young lady, Miss Molly Drake. I know I've missed so many of your birthdays in the past and I can never make up for that. But I'm here now and I'm going to be here for all the birthday's you've got ahead of you. I know there is one very special person who couldn't be with us here today, but I know that your mum will always be with you, wherever you are and whatever you do. So let's drink a toast in remembrance of Alexandra Drake - To Alex! And of course a toast to a happy 13th birthday Molly - To Molly!"_

_"Thanks Dad. I know mum would have been here if she could but I'm glad all of you could come today, Grandma and Granddad and Evan, you were there when I needed you the most and dad you came back when it mattered. I'm not going to make a wish when I blow out the candles, I'm just going to think of mum and send her my love."_

Alex had tears streaming down her face as she watched her daughter blow out the candles on her huge birthday cake, then the picture flickered and the tape ended. She sat and softly wept as the gamut of emotions swept through her, and then she wiped her eyes and renewed her vow to do all she could to help those in this world to find peace. She hoped that somewhere along the way she might find some for herself too.


	7. Chapter 7

**I am so sorry for the delay in updating, but with the kids on school holidays I am up to my neck in it at the moment! **

**I hope I can get back on track with regular updates in September. But for now thank you all for your patience and for continuing to read this fic and please leave a review if you can.**

**Again thank you everyone xxx**

Chapter 7

It was almost midnight and there was still no sign of Gene, Alex was almost relieved to have some time alone after the events of the day. She was worried about his absence though and considered going out in search of him, but she felt so weary and couldn't stop herself reclining on the sofa. She had only intended to rest her eyes for a few seconds, but sleep claimed her and she was soon lost in a dream...

_[Voice of Jim Keats]_

_Our Father who art in heaven,_

_hallowed be thy name._

_Thy kingdom come_

_Thy will be done _

_on earth as it is in heaven._

_Give us this day our daily bread,_

_and forgive us our trespasses,_

_as we forgive those who trespass against us,_

_and lead us not into temptation,_

_but deliver us from evil. _

_[sound of Keats' laughter]_

"_Why not give in to temptation? You already have, and you will again. I'm counting on it."_

The sound of knocking woke her with a start, she rose swiftly and went to answer it, she peered through the peephole and quickly unlocked the door with a sigh.

"Gene? Why didn't you use your key?" Alex asked with puzzlement at his hesitant demeanor.

"Dunno, not sure I was still welcome I suppose. We went to raise a few glasses to Freeman, the poor sod. Wasn't sure you wanted me to come back here tonight." He replied sheepishly and without meeting her eye.

Alex looked him over and took in that same boyish vulnerability she had seen so many times before in him, but had never truly understood until his secret had been revealed to her. He was so uncertain of himself where she was concerned, and especially now that he had again forgotten everything that bound them together. Her heart melted and she reached out to softly stroke his face, her hand gently caressing his cheek before cupping his chin so she could encourage Gene to meet her eye.

"Come to bed." She softly coaxed as she took his hand, and he followed her willingly into the bedroom.

* * *

Alex lingered for a moment outside the flat that DS Bryan Freeman had so recently, and briefly occupied. She felt the sense of failure and hopelessness from the previous day flood through her again, and knew she had to get some answers. There was only one person she could turn to now, and for the sake of her peace of mind she knew there was no other choice.

Things at the station seemed to be ticking along as usual despite the recent tragic events. Gene was working on the last piece of information that Bryan had given, about the secret safe in Kenneth Claypole's photography studio. Alex had excused herself from going with him to retrieve the evidence and so he enlisted the help of DC Palmer, who was proving to be a very capable member of the team. Gene had noted Alex's sombre mood after the previous days events, and reasoned that leaving her to shuffle paperwork might be for the best. Alex had calculated that with Gene out of the office, she would then be free to slip out of CID without being under his watchful eye. She was determined to go in search of the one man who might be able to ease the torment in her mind.

She walked blindly down the corridor, too lost in her own thoughts to notice anything of her surroundings, until she came to a halt outside the office of superintendent George Clarence. The office emitted no signs of life, she could tell it was dark and silent within even though the door was firmly closed. Alex was undeterred and as she now knew that everything was not always as it appeared to be, she knocked loudly against the solid wood until it left her knuckles red from the effort. Suddenly there was the sound of distant chattering and the lights flickered around her, and a beam of bright light shone from under the door. She then heard a commanding voice bidding her to enter...

"Sir, please forgive my coming to see you without prior warning or invitation, but I really need to speak with you." Alex said upon entering as she desperately pleaded for his understanding.

"You are here, I take it, regarding this unfortunate business with detective sergeant Bryan Freeman?" Superintendent Clarence asked, although he already knew full well the reason why Alex was seeking an audience with him.

"Yes sir. I know I let him down and I failed him in his hour of need, but I did try to help him and I need to know what became of him." Alex said desperately.

"What became of him?" Clarence asked as if he didn't quite comprehend what Alex wanted to know.

"Well we didn't get him to the Railway Arms did we? But did he end up where he should have in spite of that? I mean I know Bryan was a troubled soul but I also know he was good in his heart, and if Jim Keats somehow got to him..." She trailed off as she contemplated the horror of that eventuality.

Superintendent Clarence let out a deep sigh and moved forward in his seat. "I'm glad you came here today. I should say from the outset that I was against you returning to this world after you had entered the Railway Arms. But it was not for me to decide your fate and it was decreed that you needed to come back here, and that you still had much to resolve and learn before the time was right for you to move on. I can see the truth of that now but with it comes a great burden of responsibility on your part, and the danger that you might fall prey to your weaknesses. I know you found it very difficult to accept that Gene had to lose the memory of his true self again, but his blind faith in this world has reinvigorated it and strengthened it. What I am about to tell you, I do not do so to cause you any pain, but only because it is the truth and you need to know. Jim Keats only ever gained a foothold in this world because Gene's position here had been weakened, he had shot you and made himself vulnerable. It is when we are at our weakest point that forces such as Keats can creep in and exploit the situation for their own ends. You know now what Keats is and what he represents, and yet you still continue to associate with him." Clarence turned an accusing eye on Alex.

She was about to protest but was prevented from doing so by Clarence's steely gaze. He continued...

"Keats will always exist and he will always have access to this world, but his power here depends entirely on the willingness of those closest to Gene to succumb to his temptations. He will say and do anything to get what he wants and you know that, and yet still you listen to him and take what he offers. Of course you have free will Alex, and I do not seek to tell you what you should do, you already know all this and it is your choice. But you must realise that there is a price to be paid. You know that nothing Keats offers will come for free, he will always want something in return." He sighed again and softened his gaze. "I do know you did your best for Bryan and it was never going to be easy. He was a troubled soul and he had known so much sorrow in his short life, but he did find peace in the end."

Alex furrowed her brow. "But I couldn't stop him jumping." She said sadly.

"No. But what you couldn't see from your position high up on the roof was Gene, doing what he has always done. It doesn't matter whether he knows it or not because it runs so deep within him now, it is instinctive and he helped Bryan to find the peace that had eluded him all his life." Clarence explained and in doing so was able to ease her mind on that matter at least.

"But what about Keats? I know I took the tape he left, and I did watch it but he didn't ask for anything in return for it." Alex asked guiltily as she knew she had still succumbed to his temptation.

"Alex I know that leaving your daughter behind is heartbreaking for you, but you have no place in that world anymore. If you allow yourself to be ruled by things you can never hope to control, then I see darkness ahead. Jim Keats will always want something from you even if he doesn't make his intentions clear up front, but like I said the choice is yours and it always will be." The superintendent gave her an earnest look and although he had been quite critical in his remarks to her, he did feel deeply for Alex and for the trials that were still in store for her.

Alex felt it was time for her to take her leave of superintendent Clarence and return to CID, she had got her answers even if she hadn't been entirely comfortable listening to them.

"Thank you for your time sir." Alex said as she stood up to leave.

"If I could offer you one last piece of advice before you go, it would be to keep in mind your own salvation even as you seek the salvation of others. I know you care deeply about the fates of those around you and despite all the pain and suffering that life has heaped upon you, your faith in humanity has not been broken. I feel for you Alex really I do, not only for the burden you carry of knowing why you are here and what you have lost, but for the road that lies ahead and the slow and arduous journey you must make to find your own peace. I fear that Gene will begin to hope for more than this world can ever give him, now that he doesn't know it's limitations anymore. I know you love him very deeply but in the end it might not be enough, for either of you." Clarence's eyes were full of sympathy as he moved to open the office door.

"What do you mean?" Alex asked but tears were already stinging in her eyes as she knew exactly what the superintendent was referring to, she just didn't want to have to admit it.

"It might just be enough for Gene that you would be willing to give him everything he wants, even though, of course, you never can." Clarence looked into her eyes for one last time, his eyes burning with compassion as she managed a weak smile of understanding before leaving.

* * *

Alex wandered back to her desk in a trance like state as her mind turned over the events of the past few days, and the words of superintendent Clarence were still ringing in her ears. Gene was still out of the office and she was glad for the relative peace as she sat in contemplation. Suddenly a mug of hot coffee was set down in front of her and a voice broke into her reverie...

"I'm sure you said you were milk and no sugar. Did I get it right?" WPC Julie Brent stood before her with a warm smile and a hopeful look in her eyes.

"Yes, thank you Julie." Alex replied as she took a sip from the mug.

"Excuse me poking my nose in where it probably ain't wanted, but is everything alright? I mean I know everything ain't alright, what with poor DS Freeman and everything..." Julie stopped herself from gabbling on as she knew she should probably feel something about Bryan's death, but as she hardly knew him all she could feel was shock that someone would take their own life in that way.

"It's been quite a couple of days for everyone, but I'm sure now that Bryan found some peace in the end, so that's something." Alex said with a sad smile.

Julie nodded although she wasn't exactly sure what Alex meant as DS Freeman's death seemed anything but peaceful to her.

Alex sighed and started to sort through the scattered files and loose papers that surrounded her, and Julie returned to her own desk to continue typing. The desk sergeant Frank Burns came in to drop off a bundle of files that had just arrived at the reception, and Alex couldn't help but notice the warm look that passed between him and Julie. When he had gone back to the front desk Alex decided to grill the WPC about it, as she still didn't know much about her, and the possibility of another office romance was a welcome distraction from more morbid thoughts.

"Looks like you've got an admirer." Alex said with a smile as she could see Julie starting to blush.

"I know I can trust you not to say anything Ma'am, I mean what with you and the Guv." Julie said dropping her voice to a whisper. "Frank's asked me out for a date."

"Oh right, well that's good isn't it? I mean you were worried about not having any friends here." Alex said cautiously.

"Yeah, I think so, I mean he's no Harrison Ford but I like him." She replied with a smile.

Alex thought about Gene and she laughed.

"I of all people know that you can find love in the most unexpected of places, if you like him then it's a start." She said as Julie smiled and nodded in return.

Just then the doors to CID were flung open and Gene and the team strode back in, he went straight to his office and only paused to summon Alex in with him.

"Shut the door Bolly." He said gruffly.

"Is everything alright?" Alex asked with concern.

"No, not really Bols. I've just spent the last couple of hours sorting through pictures of little kiddies doing things that no child should ever be forced to do. We found a book with names and addresses and I've got the lads checking them out. The men who killed Claypole and Jones were most likely connected to one of these children, the witness to Claypole's original assault said he mentioned his attackers knew about the photographs. We need to run down that list and see what the families of these kids knew, and see if any of them match the description we have for the two men who attacked Kenneth Claypole. Mind you, between you and me Bolly this is one time I wouldn't mind the case going unsolved, we are talking about a couple of dead kiddie fiddlers after all." Gene explained.

"Oh that makes it alright then." Alex said with exasperation. "I abhor what they did as much as you do, but we can't pick and choose who gets justice based on the character of the individual. We are the police and we are here to serve everyone, whether we hate what they've done or not." Alex said with conviction.

"Yeah, I know yer right Bols but I can't help it that I'd rather pin a medal on 'em than lock 'em up." Gene said with a heavy sigh. "Sometimes getting the job done is nothing more than wiping the shit of yer boots."

The day was spent sorting through the names and addresses of families who, for the most part, had no idea that their children had been exploited in the worst way. There had been a possible lead on the murderers as one of the children had two surly looking uncles, but without any evidence to link them directly to the killings it all supposition. Gene had become increasingly irked throughout the day and was in a snappy mood when Alex asked him if he was ready to leave.

"I'll have you out of them knickers soon enough Bolly, don't fret." He said more with irritation than intended seduction.

"You've no need to bother if you're going to be in that mood all night." Alex replied with a roll of her eyes.

"What mood? That's the trouble with women you can't say two words to 'em without 'em reading all sorts into it. Especially you Lady woman!" Gene blustered.

"Well how about I go home and you stay here and contemplate the trouble with the female of the species, including their propensity to fall for neolithic apes with devolved ideas on equality." Alex huffed as she spun around to leave the office.

"Bolly? Bols?" He called after her but she was to weary to engage in any further arguments, and she headed out of the station.

* * *

Alex stepped out on the pavement outside the entrance to the Police station and set off on the short walk to her flat. She had only advanced a couple of steps when she heard her name being called from up ahead, her heart sank as she recognised the voice. Jim Keats was not in sight but she knew he was somewhere nearby. She listened intently as her name was called again so that she could determine his location.

"Down here." He called with a hint of annoyance as she failed to detect where he was.

There was an dark alleyway that ran down the side of the station, and she could just about make out the glow of his lit cigarette in the distance.

"What do you want now? Because whatever it is I'm not playing, not anymore." She shouted at him without moving too close.

"Aww that's a shame and you have been playing a blinder too, although to be fair I did sort of let you win the last one." He said mockingly.

"What happened to Bryan Freeman wasn't a game. You might find some sick and twisted amusement in all this but I don't, and I have nothing more to say to you." Alex spat out in rage as she recalled superintendent Clarence's earlier warning, and she turned away and swiftly headed back onto the street.

"Nothing to say? Not even thank you for that lovely tape I sent you. You have watched it now I take it?" Keats called after her, baiting her with reference to the tape of Molly.

Alex knew she should ignore him and get as far away from him as possible, but the pleasant contents of that particular tape had puzzled her coming from Keats, and she couldn't help but wonder why he had sent it. But she knew that superintendent Clarence was right in what he had said and trying to cling on to what had already been lost was hopeless.

"It was lovely to see one last glimpse of my daughter and to know that she is being loved and cared for in my absence. But I am not a part of that world anymore and hard as it is for me to accept it, accept it I must." Alex said firmly.

Keats had walked up the alleyway and now stood just a few feet away from her, although he kept to the shadows.

"She's still your daughter though and I don't see why you should accept that you can't be a part of her life anymore. That tape needn't be the last glimpse you have of her, I could get more." He said in that enticing way he had of making the unthinkable sound perfectly reasonable.

Alex couldn't pretend that she wasn't tempted but in her heart she knew there was no way she could ever take what he was offering.

"No. I can't torture myself like that. I was wrong to take what you offered in the first place, and while I can't say I'm sorry that I watched that tape, I won't take another one from you. If you insist on playing games then I am afraid you will have to be content with solitaire, because I am most definitely out." She said with finality as she resumed her walking.

"Solitaire? Hmm I prefer to call it patience, and I can be patient when I need to be because some things are worth waiting for. By the way, did you know that they never caught Arthur Layton after he shot you?" Keats asked as he hoped to pique Alex's interest again.

Alex fought against taking his bait and she hurried away from the alleyway and back towards the station. She needed Gene's strength now and was more than ready to forgive their recent minor spat. He was just coming through the station doors as she arrived and she grabbed onto him and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. He responded willingly even if he was somewhat confused by her actions.

"See this is why I'll never fathom out the workings of the female brain, yer all as nutty as fruitcakes! Now how's about I work on getting you out of them knickers instead?" Gene said with a playful smirk.

Jim Keats observed them from his concealed position in the alleyway and his face formed into a sneer as he vowed to play on, the game was definitely not over.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you all for reading and please leave a review if possible, it really means a lot to me :) xx**

Chapter 8

It was Christmas Eve and the police station was fit to burst with undesirables of all kind, from drunken Santa's to thieving Elves. It had been over two weeks since Alex had last had any contact with Jim Keats, and it seemed that he had taken her at her word and ceased his game playing. She was grateful for the relative peace because for the first time since they had left, she really felt the loss of Ray, Chris and Shaz. They had been such a large part of her time in this world, and she was missing Chris's child-like enthusiasm, Ray's cynicism and Shaz's good-natured company. She had tentatively broached the subject with Gene on a couple of occasions to see if he was missing them too, but he didn't seem to want to dwell on the matter. It appeared that as with Sam the mention of Ray, Chris and Shaz was a sore point for him and he quickly closed down any attempts to talk about them. Alex wondered if it was just the melancholy she felt every year around this time as everyone around her, Gene included, seemed to be revelling in the spirit of the festive season. Alex had never been a particular fan of Christmas, not since losing her parents. However the birth of Molly had forced her to re-examine her attitude to all things festive. She had found though that aside from putting in the effort to make it special for her daughter, it still seemed so artificial. She certainly couldn't muster any enthusiasm for it now and had volunteered to work over the holidays, even though Gene had been suspiciously keen for her to take some time off. He had been acting quite strange for a couple of days and Alex had the notion that he was up to something, although she had no idea what that might be.

The working day was slowly drawing to a close and things were at last beginning to quieten down, there was a palpable sense of anticipation and excitement amongst the officers who were eager to clock off. The festive spirit had been flowing, quite literally for hours and Poirot and Terry were already half cut, more merriment was promised as the team prepared to decamp over the road. Gene signalled it was time to depart as he came bounding out of his office...

"Santa says if you've all been good boys and girls he'll buy you a drink over the road, but best be quick before he turns back into Scrooge." He declared with a clap of his hands.

The office quickly began to empty as no one needed telling twice, but Alex remained at her desk and only reluctantly started to reach for her coat and bag.

"C'mon Bolly - You never know Santa might 'ave something special in his sack for you." Gene said with a suggestive raise of his eyebrows.

Alex couldn't help but smile and reluctant as she was to join in the festivities, she pulled on her coat and followed Gene out of the office.

* * *

Luigi's restaurant had recently reopened under the new proprietor Henri Gaultier, and was now renamed Henri's. It was much the same as it had been under the previous management, except the Italian references had all been erased in favour of French icons like Bridgette Bardot and Charles Aznavour. There were copious strings of plastic onions and garlic, and even a miniature model of the Eiffel Tower to complete the Gallic charm. Henri proved to be nothing like Luigi though, he was foul-tempered and with a sense of superiority when it came to his food, nationality and appearance. He was well into his forties and not particularly good looking, but he seemed to be popular with the opposite sex. He had taken the flat left vacant after DS Freeman's death as he had found himself suddenly homeless after a disagreement with his lady friend. The lady in question was a fiery redhead, whose various accusations of cheating against Henri the entire restaurant had been privy to on opening night. She had turned up hurling abuse with his possessions in a badly packed suitcase, and had proceeded to dump it over the bar. Since then he had been seen romancing a string of women and had even tried his 'charms' on Alex, until Gene had promptly set him straight. Henri seemed to have a grudging respect for Gene, and was even willing to be flexible on opening times to accommodate the odd hours that CID often kept. Gene was still none too crazy about all things French, including Henri but he was willing to put up with it all for the convenience of having a watering hole on his doorstep.

The team were already assembled when Gene and Alex arrived and the Guv quickly set about keeping his word and ordered a round of drinks for everyone. The place was bustling and Henri and his staff were struggling to keep up with orders. There weren't any free tables and so Alex sat on an unoccupied stool at the bar chatting to Julie and Frank, while Gene continued to pass around the drinks. He reached across her to pass a pint to Gary and it was then, as his jacket fell open, that she noticed a small box shaped bulge in his inner pocket. A feeling of panic seized her as she suddenly recalled an incident that had happened a week earlier...

They had been investigating a string of jewellery store robberies and had received a tip off about the next possible target, the shop in question was called M Bradford's and was situated on Fenchurch high street. They had set up an undercover operation to hopefully catch the robbers in the act, and she and Gene had been posing as customers. Gene had suggested that she try on some rings to make it look more authentic and she had agreed. There were lots of racks of engagement rings and Alex was busy slipping one after the other onto the appropriate finger, without really paying much mind to what they looked like. Then suddenly one caught her eye as it was so similar to a ring she had once seen and admired in an antique store, and she couldn't help commenting on it. The ring was a simple solitaire cut diamond but it was beautiful in it's simplicity and utterly flawless, it was set on a plain golden band. She found to her surprise that it fitted perfectly on her ring finger and she spent a long moment admiring it. She couldn't help the pangs of loss she felt on handing it back to the store owner. In the end the operation had been a success and the robbers were apprehended, but she found herself thinking about that ring and she had said as much to Gene. Oh God! - she thought, what if he had bought it and planned on giving to her now - here in front of everyone.

The panic must have registered on her face because Gene noticed and was compelled to comment.

"You alright Bol's? Yer've gone as white as a ginger birds arse." Gene asked with his customary sensitivity.

Alex tried to calm herself and gather her thoughts - Should she preempt a proposal and intercept Gene on the matter now - before he put her on the spot in a crowded restaurant? Should she excuse herself and retreat to the safety of her flat? What if she had got it all wrong and the box was something else entirely? The possibilities swirled around her mind.

"Bolly?" Gene barked upon getting no response to his previous inquiry, he had been expecting a rebuke over his coarseness at the very least.

She fixed him with a questioning look but her mind was still whirring, this is exactly what superintendent Clarence meant when he said Gene would start wanting more than this world could ever give him. Her instincts told her to flee and face the consequences later.

"Sorry, I'm not feeling too well all of a sudden, bit of a cold coming on perhaps? Anyway I think I ought to go up to the flat and have a lie down." Alex blustered as she got up. She muttered hasty goodbyes to the team and then dashed off towards the stairs.

Gene gave her a concerned look but didn't look unusually perturbed by her sudden departure, maybe she had got it all wrong, but still she didn't want to take the chance and hurried away.

"Go and get yerself in bed, I'll be up to rub some Vicks on yer chest in a bit." He called after her.

* * *

Alex flopped down on the bed and began to feel a little foolish for her presumptions, and hasty exit from the restaurant. Gene hadn't looked upset about her leaving or tried to get her to stay, he wasn't the type for public displays and she knew that. Why had she thought that he would propose to her in such a setting? With the whole of the restaurant, not to mention most of CID looking on. She rebuked herself for being so over dramatic and considered going back down to join the festivities. She could hear the raucous partying going on below her and the sound of a mass sing along to Slade's 'Merry Christmas Everybody' was echoing through the floor. She went to the bathroom to freshen her make up and sort out her hair before rejoining the throng. Just then there was a knock at the door and she wondered if it was Gene refusing to use his key again, she got up to answer it...

There was no one waiting at the door when she opened it, but lying on the floor was a small package that had been neatly wrapped in shiny paper and decorated with a bow. She reluctantly picked it up as her experiences of unsolicited gifts were not entirely pleasant ones. There was a tag attached to the small parcel and she flipped it over to read what was written on the back.

_Alex_

_A gift from the Ghost of Christmas yet to come._

She shuddered and took the parcel and set it down on the table, it was much smaller and lighter than the one she had previously received. But she was in no doubt that it had been sent by the same person, and the thought of that made her feel sick to her stomach. It wasn't another video tape but the feel and shape of it made her think that it could be an audio cassette tape. She stared at it, all the time knowing that she should smash it to pieces and throw it away, and yet she couldn't bring herself to do that. Before she had a chance to decide what to do with it, she heard the key turning to unlock the door signalling Gene's return. She grabbed the parcel and threw it to the back of one of the kitchen cupboards, where she hastily concealed it under some napkins.

"You in bed Bolly?" Gene shouted as he came crashing through the door, obviously the worse for drink.

Alex calmed herself and quietly closed the cupboard door as she stepped out to face Gene.

"Are yer feeling any better?" He asked with concern as he moved to take her in his arms.

"Better now." She mumbled against his chest as he pulled her into a tight embrace.

He held onto her for a while as if he never wanted to let her go and then he softly kissed the top of her head, and began to talk without loosening his grip.

"I'm glad yer feeling better - Yer sort of queered me pitch a bit earlier, I mean I wasn't sure if I should anyway and then you not feeling well sort of made me mind up for me. I think I needed some Dutch courage first, and I hadn't had nearly enough to drink by then - but I think I'm ready now." He babbled nervously which wasn't his style at all and Alex began to feel the panic rising again.

"Gene...?" She began hoping to head him off at the pass before he said something he couldn't take back. But she had no follow up ready and he seized on her hesitancy.

"Let me speak Bol's, I'll never get it all out otherwise." He guided her gently over to the sofa and they both sat down as he gently stroked her hand and continued...

"It took us a long time to get here and if I'm honest with meself, I never thought in all me wildest fantasies that we would. I always wanted us to and I hoped for it, but it seemed that every time we got close something would end up coming between us. These last few weeks with you have been like a dream come true, I never knew I could feel so happy. I can explain it really but it's like this is real - you and me, and everything that came before it was just a pale imitation. I might be going bloody soft but - I know now that this is what it feels like to be in love with someone. I love you Alex and I could never say it to anyone before, because I never felt it or meant it until you. God knows, I know I'm no catch, but like they say - many a good tune played on an old fiddle and you seem to like plucking my strings." He grinned and suggestively waggled his eyebrows.

Alex was staring at him wide eyed and tears had begun to fall down her cheeks. He was no old fiddle, and he didn't even know it.

"Will you marry me Alex?" He said in a sober manner as he reached into his pocket and produced a ring, THE ring and held it out for her to accept.

She couldn't answer and continued to sit frozen to the spot with endless questions going round and round in her head. How could she marry him when she knew what this world was? She dared to look in his eyes and found them full of hope - and fear. She recalled what superintendent Clarence had said to her before they had parted on their last meeting - _"It might just be enough for Gene that you would be willing to give him everything he wants..." _ Alex considered that in another place and at another time she would have said yes without hesitation, so why not say yes now?

"Don't keep me hanging on Bolly." He pleaded.

So she answered him in a voice so small it was barely above a whisper but he heard, and she took the ring and put it on her finger as he swept her up in his arms. No words were spoken as they held onto each other, and then Gene kissed her with such passion and love that no words were needed. They moved silently into the bedroom, kissing their way and letting their bodies speak for them.

* * *

Gene was slumbering soundly when Alex slipped out of bed. She couldn't sleep for thinking about the unwanted gift that had been left outside her door and she went to retrieve it. She softly pulled the bedroom door shut behind her so as not to wake Gene and went into the kitchen. The old style tape machine she'd bought during her first few months in this world was in one of the drawers, so she pulled it out in readiness. She hesitated for a few minutes before pulling the wrapping paper off the parcel, but in her mind she had already decided to open it. Inside was an audio tape just as she had suspected it might be, and wrapped around it was a note. She carefully unfolded the sheet of paper and began to read...

_Alex_

_The gloves are off._

_When you have listened to this tape call me._

_It ain't over until it's over._

_Jim._

She shuddered and considered smashing the tape into pieces, but foolishly she couldn't bear not knowing what was on it. She flipped open the cassette deck and put the tape in and pressed play...

_[Voice of Arthur Layton]_

_I said I want money, and lots of it._

_You know what happens when I don't get what I want, don't you Mr White?_

_You made me angry last time and poor little Alex paid the price. You don't want to make me angry again, do ya?_

_No police, no nothing, just you and the money or little Molly will be joining her mum and her grandparents. Understand?_

_Good._

_You know where and you know when. _

_Molly will be waiting..._

_[Voice of Jim Keats]_

_The superintendent lied to you Alex. You can still make a difference in that world. You can save your daughter. If you want to know how then call me on extension 666 [Pause] well you had to have seen that one coming [laughter] It's a one time offer though and time is running out, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock..._

Alex went over to the phone and lifted the receiver and as her hands were trembling she found it hard to dial the number. Her call was swiftly answered and instructions for a meeting place were given, they were to meet at 12 noon on Boxing Day. She replaced the handset and sat absentmindedly fiddling with her engagement ring, whilst pondering the position she had found herself in. Oh God! - her engagement ring - she had agreed to marry Gene and he knew nothing of all this, worse still she couldn't tell him, not without taking the risk of blowing this whole world apart again. It was all well and good for superintendent Clarence to lecture her about Keats, but he hadn't actually offered her any protection from his machinations, only words - and talk was cheap. All Alex knew was that her daughter was in danger and she could do something about it - even if it meant doing a deal with the devil himself.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks to everyone for reading this fic and please review if possible :) xx**

Chapter 9

"_Before I draw nearer to that stone to which you point," said Scrooge "answer me one question. Are these the shadows of the things that Will be, or are they the shadows of things that May be, only?"_

_Still the Ghost pointed downward to the grave by which it stood._

"_Men's courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if persevered in, they must lead," said Scrooge. "But if the courses be departed from, the ends will change. Say it is thus with what you show me!"_

Alex promptly turned off the television as the Alistair Sim film version of 'A Christmas Carol' drew near to it's conclusion. It was an annual TV fixture, as much a part of the festive television schedules as the Queen's speech, and Alex didn't need to see it again. Besides the 'Grim Reaper' representation of 'The Ghost of Christmas Past' was unsettling her even more than she was already.

It had been arranged that she and Gene would have Christmas dinner in Henri's along with Julie, Frank and Gary, as Alex had been concerned that they would otherwise spend the day alone. Although in light of recent events she was rather regretting having to pass most of the day in company. But then, she reasoned, it might prove a welcome distraction from dwelling on what might unfold during her 'meeting' with Keats on Boxing day. Gene was humming as he readied himself for the festivities, he was in uncharacteristic high spirits and he refused to have them dampened by Alex's lack of enthusiasm.

"C'mon Bolly, get yer glad rags on or else we'll be late." Gene commanded as he set about straightening his tie.

"Are we gonna tell 'em? About us I mean?" He asked hesitantly.

"I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it." Alex replied disinterestedly as her thoughts had been elsewhere.

"Well if you're planning on wearing that ring, they're bound to notice. I mean they are supposed to be bloody detectives after all." He reasoned.

"Tell them, if that's what you want." Alex replied unenthusiastically.

Gene eyed her warily and wondered about her sullen mood, but he didn't want to dwell on it in case she was having second thoughts about marrying him. He decided to change the topic of conversation as a distraction.

"God alone knows what we'll get for dinner though! I mean do frogs even know how us Brit's like our Christmas dinner? There'd better not be any bloody garlic in it!" He grumbled as his good temper threatened momentarily to sour at the thought of all things French.

"Oh Gene don't be such an ignoramus! I'm sure it will be perfectly fine and you'll eat it anyway, you always do. You just find it necessary to complain about it first." Alex rebuked him sharply as she sat brushing her hair.

"Alright Bol's don't get yer knickers in a twist! Have yer even got any knickers on?" He asked with a mischievous grin as he tried to lighten the mood. But it didn't have the desired effect and Gene thought he should make his exit and leave her to it.

Alex ignored his question and barely acknowledged his departure as she continued to put on her make up. She stared intently at her image in the mirror as she swept her hair back over her ears, and paused for a moment to focus on the exact spot on her forehead where Arthur Layton's bullet had penetrated. There was no physical scar to be seen, not in this world. But just for a second she imagined she could see the bullet-hole in her head. Suddenly a lone tear drop fell from her chin and splashed on the dressing table. She didn't want to shed any more tears, but she couldn't help imagining her daughter in the clutches of the man who had stolen her life. He was all set to do the same thing to Molly, if he wasn't stopped, and thinking of the fear and helplessness her daughter must be feeling broke her heart. Jim Keats had told her over the phone that as time was not reckoned in the same way in this world as the other, then he could intercede at any point. But he was only going to give Alex this one chance to save Molly, and if she didn't take it now it would never be offered again. He hadn't yet named his price for upholding his end of the bargain, but she could imagine what it would be. All that was left to decide was whether it was a price worth paying, but when the alternative was to leave Molly to Layton's mercy, she didn't see what choice she had. Alex dabbed at her cheeks and brushed on some powder, it was time to don the mask of normalcy again and she wouldn't be found wanting.

* * *

Downstairs in Henri's the scene had been set for Christmas dinner, and the whole place had been decked out with fairy lights and tinsel. The smell of roasting turkey and mulled wine was wafting through the restaurant and only added to the festive atmosphere. Gene had met up with the rest of the dinner party, and he was stood chatting with DC Gary Palmer and sergeant Frank Burns when Alex came through the door. She looked around for WPC Julie Brent so that she could join her for a chat before the boys returned with their drinks, but she was no where in sight.

"Frank, where's Julie?" Alex questioned.

"Gone to the loo I think." He replied as he quickly resumed his chat with Gene and Gary.

She went to take a seat and wait for Julie to return when suddenly Frank remarked about her absence with concern.

"Mind you she's been in there a while, I hope she's alright." He said with a worried look.

"I'll go and check." Alex said as she hurried to the ladies room.

"It's Probably got summat to do wi' all them vodka and oranges she put away last night." Gene shouted after her.

Alex opened the door to the ladies room and looked around but Julie wasn't there, but then she heard the sound of soft sobbing coming from one of the cubicles.

"Julie? It's Alex, is everything all right?" She called out in a gentle voice.

There was the sound of sniffing and shuffling and then the cubicle door was opened, and Julie came out with black streaks of mascara soaked tears running down her face.

"Oh Julie! Whatever's the matter?" Alex asked with concern as she moved to offer her a comforting embrace.

"Oh Lord! Look at the state of my boat race!" Julie exclaimed as she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. She busied herself with searching through her handbag, looking for make up to set her face to rights. She pointedly ignored Alex's inquiries into what had caused her to get upset in the first place.

Alex wasn't sure how to proceed, she was worried about Julie but she already had enough on her plate. She wasn't sure she had the inner resources to try to solve everyone else's problems, when she had so many of her own. It wasn't in her nature though to turn her back on the plight of others, and she knew she had to help if she could.

"This time of year always gets to me, I mean I know it's supposed to be the season of goodwill, but it can be a lonely time for many people." Alex started talking without really knowing what she was going with the conversation. But she hoped it would get Julie talking and maybe get her to open up about what was upsetting her.

"It's a time when we should be close to the ones we love, but that isn't always possible - for whatever reason." She stopped as she thought about Molly and tears sprung into her eyes.

Julie noticed that Alex had fallen silent and she glanced at her in the mirror, she was horrified to see how upset she looked.

"Oh Gawd! I've gone and made you miserable as well, I'm so sorry. I'm just being daft again and I'm not really sure why I'm so upset, it doesn't make sense really." Julie explained.

"No. No it's not you, I'm alright." Alex tried to reassure her. "Maybe I can help you get to the bottom of it. What was it that made you get upset?" She inquired as she wondered if it was a buried memory trying to resurface.

"I was alright when we got here, I was feeling happy as they come. Frank had bought me a lovely Christmas present, and I was sat waiting for him to bring my drink over, and then I heard it playing on the radio." Julie explained.

"Heard what?" Asked Alex.

"Silent Night. You know the carol, well it took me right back to a Christmas a long time ago, one I've tried so hard to forget. In fact I had forgotten it until I heard that carol being played and that's what I don't understand. How could I have forgotten?" She asked with bewilderment.

"Forgotten what?" Alex asked as she pushed for answers.

Julie set down her face powder compact and took a deep breath as she turned around to face Alex before continuing...

"You remember I mentioned having a son, and that he was away at university so I didn't get to see him much?" She asked.

"Yes. Are you upset because he's not here now?" Alex asked.

"No, no that's not it at all. I do have a son and he is at university but that's not the reason why I don't get to see him. He was born on Christmas day you know, I called him Harry after my grandfather, but he's called Edward now. I gave him up for adoption you see, I couldn't keep him. There was a moment in the hospital, not long after he was born, when the nurse left me on my own with him for the first time. They were playing Christmas carols on the hospital radio and Harry started crying in his little cot. I hadn't held him after the birth because I didn't want to get attached to him, but I couldn't just leave him crying, and so I picked him up and cradled him. Then Silent Night came on the radio and I just laid there in bed nursing him and crying my heart out. I almost made my mind up to keep him during that moment, but then I thought about everything that had happened to me and I knew I had to go through with the adoption." Julie explained as fresh tears were streaking her make up all over again.

"Oh Julie, I don't want to cause you any more pain but why couldn't you keep him?" Alex asked as she wondered what had compelled Julie to give her son away.

Julie hesitated and started fidgeting with her make up again but she managed to gather her resolve and answer the question.

"I had always wanted to join the police force, ever since I was a kid it was all I wanted to do. I had a hard time to begin with though and I nearly jacked it in. But I stuck it out, and I was determined that I was going to do well, make everyone proud, you know? Then one night I'd been working a late shift and I was supposed to be getting a lift home with my friend Tom. PC Tom Collins was his name, and we had joined the force at the same time and had become good friends. But he got injured that night trying to break up a pub fight and he had to go to casualty, so I had to make my own way home. I caught the late bus but it didn't go as far as where I lived, so I knew I'd have to walk the rest of the way. It was a lovely moonlit night, I remember that. I remember just staring up at the full moon and..." She stopped momentarily as she broke out into a sob, but she shrugged away Alex's attempts to comfort her. Julie was determined to continue...

"I noticed that someone had got off the bus at the same time as me, but I didn't pay it much mind until I noticed that he was following close behind me. I tried to keep in mind all my training, you know - get to a well lit public place and alert a member of the public, I mean I was a police woman for God sake! The trouble was we were near waste ground where some factories were being demolished, and there were no public places or any other people to be seen. He grabbed me from behind and I fought and fought but he had a knife and he was strong, much stronger than me." Julie finally broke down, her body shuddering with the force of her sobbing.

Alex wrapped her arms around her and helplessly muttered words of comfort until Julie began to regain her composure, and her sobs subsided. She collected herself enough to continue.

"Being raped was bad enough but then to find out I was pregnant, well it damn near destroyed me. I was brought up a Catholic and although I wasn't a regular church goer by then, I found a lot of comfort in having faith, even at a time like that. It wasn't God's fault and it wasn't the baby's fault, he was an innocent and I couldn't abort him, but I couldn't keep him either." Julie took a deep breath and began to tend to her eyes, as they were red and puffy from crying. She then began to fix her smudged make up for a second time.

Alex was just about to speak when a loud knock on the door startled her...

"Everything alright in there Bolly? Only Henri said dinner won't be long." Gene shouted from outside the door. He had been growing more and more concerned at Alex's extended absence, and coupled with her strange mood that morning it led him to fear that she was having cold feet about marrying him.

"Yes. We'll be out in a minute." Alex replied in a sharper tone than she intended. But she felt she had been making progress with Julie and now it had been interrupted.

She sighed as the magnitude of the problems she was now juggling began to weigh heavily on her shoulders. How could she possibly manage to keep Gene happy and save Molly, as well as helping Julie and the rest of them to lay their personal demons to rest? Alex had begun to unconsciously fiddle with her engagement ring, it was a new habit she had acquired and it caught Julie's eye.

"Oh my Gawd! The Guv asked you to marry him?" She exclaimed with surprise as she momentarily broke off from dabbing on face powder to inspect the ring.

"Awww it's gorgeous, he must think the world of you." Julie sighed with a hint of envy.

"Yes, I suppose he does." Alex sombrely replied.

"Well come on then! We've got celebrating to do." Julie said with forced cheer as she applied the finishing touches to her make up.

Alex was surprised at her sudden change in mood. "Are you sure you're up to it? I mean I could make our excuses, say you're not feeling well. We could go up to the flat and carry on talking." She said with concern.

"No. Don't be daft. It's Christmas day and you've just got engaged, anyway I've done enough moping for one day. Bring on the champagne!" Julie gathered her things together and made for the door, with a reluctant Alex following close behind.

* * *

Later on and the drink was flowing and everyone, except Alex, had let the Christmas spirit in. Julie was quite recovered from her earlier upset and was now happily smooching with Frank to Bing Crosby's perennial seasonal classic. Gary had got chatting to some of the other of Henri's patrons and Gene was considering asking Alex to dance, gone were the days when Gene Hunt didn't dance. He found that these days he was doing a lot of things he didn't usually do. Normally this would disturb him but when the reason for that change was Alex, then he found he was willing to do all kinds of crazy things, like asking her to marry him. He wouldn't have believed it was possible, if someone had told him on the day they met, that this is where they would end up. But he would be eternally grateful to whatever God there was for delivering her to him on that day, and for letting her love him like he loved her. She had been uncharacteristically quiet all day, and that worried him. But she was still wearing her engagement ring and he wasn't about to let her backtrack now.

"C'mon Bol's lets show 'em how it's done." He said as he sprung to his feet and held out his hand in invitation.

Alex laced her fingers with Gene's and allowed him to pull her wearily to her feet. He brought her up close to him and wrapped his arms around her, as they began to sway slowly in time with the music. Alex put her arms around Gene's neck and pressed her head against his chest and for a blissful moment nothing else mattered, but being in the arms of the man she loved. She felt the steady pounding of his heart against her cheek and his warmth surrounding her. Who cared that it was all an illusion? She listened to the words of the song 'White Christmas' and pondered on something she had once heard about it. Irving Berlin, a Jewish immigrant to America, had written it whilst he was staying in a hot and sunny California. Suddenly it seemed to Alex to be an appropriate song to be playing at that moment, in more ways than one.

Gene felt her sighing against his chest, and he felt the need to gain reassurance that she wasn't having second thoughts about him.

"No regrets then Bolly?" He asked softly and she felt him tense slightly as if he feared her reply.

There were many things in this world she wished she could change but her love for him wasn't one of them. No matter what lie ahead she couldn't regret accepting his proposal, even if it would never lead to a fairytale ending of 'happily ever after'.

"No regrets." She said resolutely as she moved to softly kiss him.

* * *

Gene had been satisfied by Alex's reaffirmation and although she still seemed lacking in festive spirit, he had been accepting of her explanation that she didn't really care for Christmas. The evening was now drawing to a close and he was eager to get her upstairs and into bed. He began saying his goodbyes to the rest of the revellers, and Alex took the opportunity to quiz Julie one last time on her earlier revelations. They were both in the ladies room again only this time Julie was slightly the worse for drink.

"I'm sorry that we didn't really get to finish our chat earlier. If you ever want to talk about it all, well you know where I am." Alex said as they stood side by side at the vanity mirror reapplying their lipstick.

"Thanks, but there ain't really a lot more to say." Julie said as she gave her hair a quick ruffle.

"I know how painful it is to be separated from your child. I know you felt you had no other choice but it must have been so hard for you, all those years without him." Alex said tearfully as she thought of her own daughter.

Julie stilled for a moment and then she let out a heavy sigh, lost in her own reverie she was oblivious to Alex's pain.

"It did torment me, all those years I wondered if I'd done the right thing. But what's done is done, and you know what? He did alright without me, more than alright. I don't know..." She paused and was lost in thought again for a short moment before snapping out of it.

"Frank will be wondering where I've got to. Thanks for listening though." Julie said with a warm smile as she swung her handbag over her shoulder and made for the door.

Alex smiled in return as she followed her out and into the restaurant. Gene was waiting for her and he reached out and gently took her hand in his.

"Ready for bed Bols?" He asked and she quickly nodded in reply.

Tomorrow she might have to make a deal with the devil, but tonight she belonged to Gene.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry about all the cultural references in this :s I can blame the Monty Python stuff on a trip to see the musical Spamalot whilst I was writing this chapter! :D**

**Thank you everyone for reading/reviewing/favouriting and alerting, it really means the world to me xxx**

Chapter 10

Alex was growing increasingly anxious as the time of her meeting with Keats was fast approaching. She had hoped it would be easy to slip away from CID as Gene was not supposed to be working that day. But he had informed her that morning that he was going to accompany her into the station. He had told her that he could see no point in having the day off, if she was going to be working. She had tried to disguise her dismay, as she knew it would now be awkward to manufacture a reason to leave the station, without him getting suspicious. Mercifully it was a quiet day work-wise, and Alex set herself the task of going through her 'In-Tray' of unfinished paperwork. The office was sparsely populated and except for herself, only Poirot and Terry were there. Gene was happily pottering about in his office, he sat back in his chair and soon found himself slipping into a nap . Alex noticed him slumbering and thanked her lucky stars for the opportunity to leave, without having to submit a weak alibi to his scrutiny. She scribbled a quick note to say she had popped out, and would be back soon. The details of the reason for her absence were, of course omitted. She knew Gene would subject her to a grilling on her return, but she would cross that bridge when she came to it. For now all she could think about was her meeting with Jim Keats, and what impact that meeting would have on her place in this world. She hurried out along the maze of corridors, and was almost at the reception when she heard a voice calling her name. Panic gripped her as she at first feared that Gene had seen her leaving, and had followed her out. But it wasn't Gene's voice, it was the commanding baritone of superintendent Clarence. She spun around to see where he was calling from...

"Alex, I need to speak with you urgently." He said firmly as he came striding down the corridor towards her.

"Sorry sir but I don't have the time." She replied as she hurried on towards the exit. Clarence followed on close behind her.

"I know where you're going, and why." He said as Alex stopped in her tracks and she turned around to look him in the eyes. She was feeling desperate and defiant.

"I know you warned me about all this but she's my daughter, I can't just stand by and do nothing. If you can tell me it's all a lie and she isn't really in danger, or if you are here to offer me help then I'll listen. But if you are here to deliver another sermon then please don't, please save us both the time and trouble." She appealed to him.

"I can do no more, than to tell you to trust that Molly will be alright. I am not here to deliver any sermons or to repeat those warnings I gave you on our previous meeting. The choice will always be yours Alex, and you must decide who to put your faith in." Clarence said calmly but firmly.

"So I'm just supposed to trust that Molly will be alright, and that's that?" Alex asked with disbelief.

"Yes, or you can put your faith in Jim Keats and trust his word. I have nothing more to say on the matter, but please - choose wisely." He gave her an earnest look and turned to leave.

Alex sighed and tried to keep her composure as the tears threatened to spill, and she was determined to stay strong. She picked up her pace again and headed out to keep her appointment, as superintendent Clarence's words echoed through her mind.

* * *

[Excerpt from Monty Python Film 'The Meaning Of Life']

_Grim Reaper: "You're all dead. I am death."_

_Host: "Well, that's cast rather a gloom over the evening, hasn't it?"_

Alex carefully made her way down the small, dark cinema aisle as she glanced around looking for Jim Keats. It didn't take her long to spot him, as aside from herself he was the only person in there. He had chosen a seat three rows from the back and towards the middle of the cinema, so she had to make her way down the row of flipped-up seats to get to him. The feature film had already started, and she cringed at his choice of meeting place. It must have amused him greatly to see that this little cinema was playing 'Monty Python's Meaning of Life', and she knew he was getting some perverse pleasure from it all.

"Now THIS is funny." Keats said by way of a greeting and without taking his eyes off the screen.

Alex reluctantly pulled down the seat next to his and sat on it, then she focused her eyes on the cinema screen and only glanced surreptitiously at Keats.

"I would have got 'em all in the end you know, Ray, Chris, Shaz and even Gene. They all would have ended up at my door one way or another, but then you came along. Sam Tyler had been and gone and he changed Gene, there's no doubt about that. But you, you were the one who changed everything." Keats said with disdain but still he did not turn to look at her.

Alex pointedly turned to face him, as she was down to her last nerve and sick of his games.

"Let's just cut to the chase, shall we? I want to save Molly from Arthur Layton, and you said you could make it happen. So what do you want in return?" Alex asked wearily, as she focused on keeping in mind what superintendent Clarence had told her.

"My influence extends a lot further than this miserable world. A word in the right ear and Bob's your uncle! Arthur Layton is a weak and wretched excuse for a man, and there ain't one single person who cares about him, he won't be missed." Keats said disdainfully.

"And in return you want WHAT?" Alex asked as her patience snapped.

"Bet you're sorry you came back to Never Never land now aren't you?" He hissed as he finally turned to meet her eyes.

"Poor Gene, he's not quite Peter Pan though is he? He's sort of the opposite really because he wanted to grow up, and to have all the things a man should have - like an important job with people who respected him, and a loving wife. I see that ring on your finger, but you know as well as I do that it's nothing more than a young mans fantasy. You fell in love with a fantasy, because the Gene Hunt you want doesn't really exist, and he never did. You know, it would be rich pickings for me here without your interference. I might even be able to tempt Gene over to the dark side again." Keats paused and composed himself before leaning in closer to his prey.

"I want you to leave this world for good. You can go to the pub or you can come to my place, but one way or the other, I want you gone." He said quietly but with finality.

"What?" Alex asked in astonishment.

"Never let it be said that I haven't got a heart, and I think I'm being more than generous here. You can have until high noon tomorrow to make your mind up, and go. That's the deal, so take it or leave it." Keats said as he laid out the terms.

"How do I know I can trust you to keep your word and save Molly." Alex asked sceptically.

"Well if you decide to come with me I'm sure I could get you some proof - if it would put your mind at rest." He said deviously.

Alex shot him an incredulous glance as she began to weigh up the various options in her mind.

"You know in Monty Python's vision of Heaven, it's Christmas everyday." Keats said with a grin.

"Sounds like my idea of Hell!" Alex exclaimed.

Keats raised an eyebrow as he digested that nugget of information and laughed, he then went back to watching the film.

"Why aren't you insisting that I come with you? Why give me the choice? I would have thought that the very least you'd want in return for helping me, was my soul." Alex asked in a quiet voice. She didn't trust Keats at all but his motives at this moment were bewildering to her, she had been steeling herself for much worse.

Keats gave an impatient sigh and reluctantly tore his eyes from the screen once more.

"Blimey O'Riley! There's that pesky free will thing isn't there." He said with irritation, as if he were explaining it to a small child.

"I could have said come with me, or else! But you'd still have the choice, and as it is I can still get what I want, which is you out of this world." He explained.

"But what about Louise and Viv? Because I know you got to him too, and now you're telling me you can get to Layton. What about their free will?" Alex asked as she was still perplexed by it all.

Keats again give a puff of irritation.

"DC Louise Gardiner made her bed and she had to lie in it, and as for Sergeant Viv James - he betrayed you all, and so he made his own choice really. Arthur Layton has already chosen his end destination, and now it is only a matter of how quickly he reaches it."

"But Louise and Viv weren't bad people, they just made mistakes, that's all." Alex said defiantly.

"To err is human, to forgive divine, eh?" Keats said mockingly.

"What if I don't go? Molly might be alright anyway. I've no reason to trust your word on anything." Alex blustered.

"If you want to trust your daughter's fate to Arthur Layton's tender mercies, then be my guest." Keats said, again in a mocking tone.

"I still don't understand why you are making me choose like this." Alex said with bewilderment.

Keats finally reached the end of his patience and he stood up and pulled on his coat.

"It was you that wanted out of the game. The clock's ticking Alex, so I'll leave you to think it over. Enjoy the rest of the film - Oh I love this bit..."

He turned and began walking down the cinema aisle, and he joined in with the singing onscreen as he departed...

_Oh Lord, please don't burn us,_

_Don't grill us or toast your flock,_

_Don't put us on a barbecue,_

_Or simmer us in stock,_

_Don't braise us or bake or boil us,_

_Or stir-fry us in a wok._

_Oh please don't lightly poach us,_

_Or baste us with hot fat,_

_Don't fricassee or roast us,_

_Or boil us in a vat,_

_And please don't stick thy servants, Lord,_

_In a Rotissomat._

_

* * *

_

Gene blinked his eyes as he came around from his impromptu nap, and he had Perry Como's 'Don't let the stars get in your eyes' still echoing in his mind. He couldn't think why he should have been dreaming about listening to that particular song, but it had been very vivid. He had seen himself as a young man sitting in the parlour of his childhood home, and there had been a young woman with him. He didn't know who the woman was but she was pretty, with long red hair tied back in a pony-tail. She had been wearing a pale blue dress that matched her eyes, and it seemed that he had been building up to ask her something very important, but he couldn't remember what.

He wearily pulled himself onto his feet and stretched out his limbs, as he did so his eyes lazily drifted over to Alex's desk, but upon finding it unoccupied he snapped into action.

"Where's Drake?" He shouted as he opened his office door.

Terry and Poirot were nonplussed as they hadn't even noticed her leaving.

Gene took in their clueless expressions and he let out a heavy sigh.

"Bloody useless!" He puffed.

Gene quickly pulled on his coat and headed out of CID, he paused only briefly to pick up the note Alex had left behind. He hated it when she took off without him knowing where she was, as it invariably led to trouble, and he would end up saving her from some lunatic or other. He glanced quickly over the note, and then screwed it up and put it in his pocket. He swiftly made his way out of the station and over to where his new Mercedes was parked. He had found that it was a good enough car, but he missed the Quattro, and he hated the colour. He had wanted another red car but the dealership could only get a silver one for immediate delivery, the red one would have taken weeks. He got into the drivers seat and soon sped out of the parking lot, although he had no clue where he was going. He drove along a few side streets, all the time looking for any sign of Alex. He wasn't sure why he felt so uneasy about her leaving the station. He only knew that he had a bad feeling in his gut, and he wouldn't rest until he found her. He turned around another street corner, and suddenly saw a familiar figure walking out of a small cinema that was just up ahead. It was the unwelcome sight of Jim Keats, and Gene quickly pulled over to the kerb and parked up. He instinctively slouched down behind the wheel in the hopes that Keats wouldn't spot him, not because he was afraid of being seen, but because he wanted to surreptitiously observe his movements. He watched as Keats crossed the road up ahead, and then turned the corner at the top of the road to disappear from his view. Gene was just about to start the engine and follow Keats, when another familiar figure leaving the cinema caught his attention, it was Alex. His eyes widened in shock as he watched her walk down the street towards where he was parked. Fortunately she didn't notice him as she was too wrapped up in her own thoughts, and he was still slouched down out of full view from his covert observation of Keats.

Alex scurried quickly back towards the station, with the collar of her coat turned up against the cold weather. Gene watched her go as he sat dumbfounded behind the wheel of the Mercedes, and he felt like he had been dealt a sucker-punch to the stomach. His memory of his dealings with DCI Jim Keats extended as far as knowing he had tried to bring him down and turn his team against him, even if he couldn't remember exactly why. Gene knew that Keats had tried to get at Alex before, but she had turned her back on Keats and stayed loyal to him, hadn't she? Why was she meeting him now? Without the missing pieces of the puzzle that had been taken from him, Gene reverted back to his old reactionary self. His temper was starting to flare as he thought about Alex, sneaking out to meet Keats in secret. He resolved to confront her about it and started the car engine, but was forced to stop short as he saw Jim Keats stood in front of the car. His face was fixed in a smug grin as he glared at Gene through the car windscreen. Keats gestured to Gene to wind down his side window...

"Fancy seeing you here!" Keats said through his grin.

"You know you shouldn't stand in front of a moving car, you never know when the brakes might accidentally fail." Gene said calmly but threateningly.

Keats merely laughed in response, and then he suddenly stopped and composed himself, although his face had twisted into a sneer.

"Where are my manners? I haven't offered you my sincerest congratulations on your recent engagement. You are one lucky SOB Gene Hunt, Alex Drake is quite an extraordinary woman ." Keats said with mock sincerity.

"Go to Hell Jimbo! Why was she here with you anyway? If you are trying to threaten her in any way..." Gene said angrily, although he stopped himself following through with a verbal threat.

"You'll what?" Keats spat back at him as he tried to goad Gene into taking action.

"Get out of the way." Gene demanded as he revved the car engine. He had no intention of getting into a fight with Keats, not yet anyway, he had to hear from Alex first about what was going on.

Keats relented and stepped aside but before Gene drove away he offered one last parting shot.

"Give my best regards to the future Mrs Hunt, won't you? Every Samson needs a Delilah!"

* * *

Gene pushed open the doors to CID with such ferocity that they swung back and smacked against the walls. The resulting thunderous bangs sent the few occupants of the office into a spin, as they jumped out of their seats in shock. Gene quickly scanned the room and saw that Alex was not amongst the remaining and now jittery, officers. Gene fixed Poirot in his glare and spoke directly to him.

"Has Drake been back here?" He growled.

"Yeah, she came in and asked where you'd gone, then she left again." Poirot answered in his still bewildered state.

"Any clues where she's gone this time?" Gene asked impatiently.

"Err...No." Poirot answered sheepishly.

"Well thanks a bunch! You lot are about as much use as tits on a fish!" Gene said as he stomped back out of the office, and went on the hunt for Alex.

He soon came upon the ladies toilets, and upon hearing the sound of sobbing coming from within, he ignored conventions to push open the door and go inside. The place was empty but for one cubicle which was 'engaged', he moved closer towards it.

"Alex? Are you in there?" He called.

After a moment the lock clicked open, and Alex gingerly stepped out of the cubicle to stand before him.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" Gene asked with exasperation.

"Please don't ask me to explain anything right now, because I honestly wouldn't know where to start." She replied wearily.

"I know you've been to see Jim Keats. Just tell me why, Alex? Why would you go to him after everything?" He asked as his hurt and anger threatened to overcome him.

Alex looked at him with wide-eyed shock upon hearing that he knew of her meeting with Keats. She continued to stare at him whilst her brain tried to formulate a response that wouldn't reveal too much, but she was too tired to think straight. Instead she tried to flee and moved to go past him, but he grabbed her tightly around both arms.

"Yer going nowhere, not until I get some bloody answers." Gene said forcefully and he gave her a vigorous shake as he spoke.

"Please Gene, if you love me, you will trust me now, and know that I would never willingly do anything to hurt you." Alex said pleadingly as she looked deeply into his eyes.

"If I love you? What are yer on about woman? Of course I ruddy love you! But I want to know what Keats wants from you. Did he threaten you? If that bastard has laid a hand on you..." Gene cut himself off as his temper began to run away from him, and he dug his fingers tighter into Alex's arms, causing her to yelp with pain.

"Gene please, you're hurting me." She said said as she tried to free herself from his grasp.

Gene suddenly snapped back to his senses and released her, with a look of regret at causing her any harm, although he had never intended to hurt her. Alex eyed him warily and began to rub her arms, as she was certain there would be bruising to show for it later. There were tears forming in the corners of her eyes and she just wanted to run away from everything. She looked down at the engagement ring on her finger, and then she began to remove it in a slow twisting motion. Something inside her mind clicked into place, and she knew that now she had to go with her head and not her heart.

"I really wish I could find some peace, I really do. I had my chance I know, but the thing is I couldn't let go, of you. I wasn't ready to leave all this behind, to leave you behind, and now I find I can't let go of Molly either. Although I know I'm not part of her world anymore, she is still my daughter and she always will be. I can't go on like this though, I - I just can't. I've seen behind the curtain now, and I know how the magic trick is done, I can't pretend anymore." Alex sadly explained.

Alex hesitantly held out the ring for Gene to take, and the sadness and hurt in his eyes stabbed at her heart. But she couldn't turn back now, the sacrifice had to be made and she had to finally let go. Gene reluctantly reached out to accept the ring, and he stood just staring at it, too numb to move or say anything.

"I'm so sorry Gene, I love you more than I could ever say but I can't marry you. I..." Alex broke into a sob and she took one last look at Gene before fleeing.

She ran and ran without any notion as to where she was going, she only knew that she wanted the pain to stop. Then suddenly in the darkness of the night an attacker struck, Alex never saw him coming. She only felt a blow to her head as she rounded a blind corner, then nothing.


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you to everyone who has read/reviewed/favourited/alerted this fic, you have made me a very happy bunny! :)**

**This is the penultimate chapter, I wasn't sure how long this fic was going to be, but one final chapter should be enough to tie up all the loose ends, I feel.**

**Hope you all enjoy reading it and thanks again for following me on this journey xx**

Chapter 11

Alex blinked her eyes and tried to focus on where her attacker was, but she could only make out two dark shapes looming over her. She could hear them bickering, but their voices sounded distant, as if she were listening to them from underwater. Although one of the voices sounded very familiar, her mind was a fog and she couldn't connect it to a name.

"I said grab her, not clobber her." The familiar voice said in a reprimanding tone.

"Then why tell me to bring a bat?" The other voice asked sarcastically.

"That was in case we had to wrest her away from Hunt, you moron!" The familiar voice said contemptuously.

Alex tried to move, she thought about attempting an escape whilst her attackers were otherwise engaged, but she found that her body felt like lead. She realised with panic that she would be no match for them, if they set upon her again.

"Put the blindfold on her." The familiar voice commanded.

She was suddenly grabbed by the shoulders from behind and hoisted onto her feet. She wasn't going to go without a fight though, and she struggled and kicked but her attacker had her in a firm hold.

Just then a beam of bright white light shone down, and Alex and her attackers were temporarily blinded by it. They had no time to recover their senses before a commanding voice boomed out, and it seemed to echo all around them.

"Not so fast." It said.

The light dimmed, and in it's wake Alex was at last able to make out the identities of the people surrounding her. Superintendent George Clarence was now stood directly in front of her, and Jim Keats was cowering to his left-hand side. The goon who had been holding on to her had now released her from his grasp, and Alex recognised him as one of Keats' lackeys. She should have recognised his voice, and realised that Keats was the one pulling the strings. But she reasoned, she had brought this misery down on her own head, by succumbing to temptation. Clarence had tried to warn her and she had walked away. She wondered if he was here to damn her for it?

"I understand that you gave Ms Drake until high noon tomorrow to make her mind up, regarding the deal you offered to her. Is that not correct?" Clarence asked Keats as he glared at him in an uncompromising fashion.

"Nah, you can't come swooping in here with your holier than thou act. That is not how it works." Keats said in the defensive tone a child would use to rail against authority.

"Do not speak to me of rules, when you seek to circumvent them yourself. A gentleman would play fairly, even when he realises he will probably lose the game. But you sir, are no gentleman." Clarence said scornfully to a defiant Keats.

"Alex Drake is mine. She was the one who changed the rules." Keats spat back at him.

"No. That isn't right. If you won't play fair, then you forfeit the game." Clarence said sternly.

Superintendent turned his gaze away from Keats and fixed it on Alex, who was standing opposite him in shocked awe.

"Now is the moment of truth Alex, you must make your choice. I am only here to make sure that it is YOUR choice." Clarence explained to her, and he hoped that she understood the full implications of his words.

"I know all of this must have seemed unnecessarily cruel to you, but we all have to travel our own path, and find our own peace." He said earnestly.

Alex took a deep breath and thought about everything that had led her to this point. She thought about all the time she had spent in this world trying to get back to the other one. She remembered how the truth about this place had finally dawned on her, and how fate had led her here. Until finally she closed her eyes and pictured her daughter, and only then did she know what she had to do.

"All I ever wanted to do, was to protect my daughter. I wanted to protect her from all the things in life that could ever harm her, or make her sad. I wanted her to have all the things I never had, like a mother who would always be there for her. It's all any mother would want for her child really, but I failed. I chose having a career, over being a stay-at-home mum. I chose a job that repeatedly put me in harms way, over one of relative safety behind a desk. I chose to embrace danger, rather than to run from it. I wish I could keep Molly safe now, and that she would never suffer any more harm than has already befallen her. But I have to accept that what will be, will be. We live our lives and we make our choices, and all we can do in the end is to accept them." Alex said sadly as she looked deeply into superintendent Clarence's eyes to seek his understanding.

"I don't need until high noon Jim. You can quite literally, go to Hell!" She said firmly as she turned to address Keats.

Keats was practically foaming at the mouth, such was his rage. He finally managed to splutter out one last parting shot.

"Fine. On your head be it. Destruction cometh; and they shall seek peace, and there shall be none." He said fiercely as he ended with a bible quotation.

Superintendent Clarence held out his hand for Alex to take, with a look in his eyes that asked her to trust him. She reached out and clasped his hand as a bright white light shone down and began to envelop them.

"Forgive the theatrics my dear, but I think you will find it's all been worthwhile in the end." He said enigmatically as the bright light completely overwhelmed their senses once more.

* * *

When the light dimmed and Alex's eyes had readjusted, she found that she was still holding tightly to superintendent Clarence's hand. It took a moment for her to realise where they were, and what was unfolding before them. They were in the park that was adjacent to the site where her parents car had exploded, only now it was the scene of a very different family drama. She looked on in horror as Arthur Layton came into view, he was holding Molly around the neck and had a gun pressed to her head. It was an armed stand-off, and standing only a few feet away, Alex could see Molly's father and Evan looking on, distraught and helpless. A police negotiator was trying to get through to Layton, the way she had once tried to do. Alex felt a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, as she began to rail against Pete and Evan for letting Molly fall into Layton's hands again.

"They cannot see or hear you." Clarence explained.

"Why bring me here? Why torture me like this?" Alex questioned angrily as she looked on at her daughter's plight, and was completely helpless to save her.

"Not everyone is granted such an opportunity you know. The commissioner himself gave special dispensation for this. In a moment all will be revealed and you will see exactly why I brought you here." Clarence answered, his face remaining neutral as he gestured to Alex to keep her eyes on the unfolding drama.

Just then there was a whirl of activity, as Layton was maneuvering himself and Molly backwards and away from the police. He stumbled slightly, and Molly was able to take the opportunity to free herself from his grasp. She started to run towards her father and Evan as Layton tried to recover himself, and he aimed to train his gun on her. Just then a shot rang out and Alex screamed in terror. It was Arthur Layton though, not Molly who fell to the ground. The police marksman had spotted the opportunity to take the shot and had felled Layton, before he could pull the trigger and shoot Molly. Alex gasped with relief as she saw her daughter, now safely returned to the loving embrace of Pete and Evan. Alex took a deep breath in an attempt to regain her composure, but her smile of grateful relief suddenly turned wistful.

"I wish I could hold her, just one last time." She said sadly although she knew it was a wish too far.

Alex moved closer to Molly and she reached out her hand, as if to stroke her cheek although neither of them could feel the touch. The tears were falling freely and it felt that finally, the weight she had been carrying was lifted. Evan had been a tower of strength to her when she had lost her own parents, and even her formerly useless ex-husband Pete, had come good in the end. Molly wasn't alone, and she would be well loved and cared for. Alex smiled through her tears and whispered a final farewell to her daughter.

"_I love you Mol's. Live life to the full, and be happy."_

"I am grateful that you let me see her for one last time. Thank you." Alex said with grateful sincerity to the superintendent.

Clarence nodded his understanding and offered a sympathetic smile, as once again he held out his hand for her to take.

"Time for us to return to where we belong. There is another matter of utmost importance that requires our immediate attention." He said as the bright light began to surround them.

* * *

This time when the light dimmed, they were back in superintendent Clarence's office at the station. He took a seat behind his desk and gestured to Alex to take the seat opposite, which she did, as she welcomed the chance to take a moment to recover. There was to be no time for any reflection though, as Clarence set about addressing the other important matter that he had referred to.

"Now then, what's to be done about Gene?" He asked as he fixed her intently in his gaze.

"How do you mean?" Alex asked with bewilderment.

"Well, you broke off your engagement to him, didn't you? And he's been left a broken man. But you could fix him, the way you did before." Clarence said as he began in an accusatory tone that softened as he continued.

"I never wanted to hurt him, but this isn't real, is it? How could I marry him, when I know what I know? You yourself said, that he would start to want things this world could never give him, and he did, he does. Keats was right about that at least, it is all a fantasy." Alex said sadly.

"You don't believe that, not really. It is real if you feel it in your heart, and you both do, I know it. Just because this world isn't what Gene thinks it is, it doesn't mean that what he feels for you isn't real. Just as your love for him is not lessened by all your knowledge of what this world is." He explained in a way that was truly heartfelt.

"But if I do marry him, what will happen when he remembers everything again? Won't he feel betrayed that I let him hope for things he can never have?" Alex asked.

"He is already starting to remember things from his past life again, and that will gradually continue until his memory is fully restored. I think if you were to set a wedding date for three months from now, then Gene would be able to take his vows with the full knowledge of his situation. I can even recommend a lovely little pub for the reception." He said with a knowing smile.

"But that would mean..." Alex said wide-eyed and trailed off as she thought about herself and Gene entering 'The Railway Arms' together.

"It's time. You have made your peace and you will help Gene to make his. You have already helped Julie Brent more than you realise, and I feel sure that she and Frank will be ready to enter the pub when you are. However, things with young DC Gary Palmer are a little more complicated." Clarence paused in his explanation, as Alex raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"How so?" She asked.

"Well, as you have been so distracted elsewhere, I took it upon myself to have a quiet word with the lad." He said.

"Yes, I'm afraid I have quite neglected poor Gary, what with one thing and another. He seemed happy enough to be getting on with his work though." Alex said with slight embarrassment.

"That's just the thing, he is happy to be continuing his work. Gary had only been qualified as a police constable for two weeks, before he was cut down in his prime. He was called to an attempted robbery at a local shop, and his colleague was successfully able to apprehend one of the would-be robbers, while he gave chase to the other. Only the young man in question had a knife, and Gary being inexperienced and the robber being angry and afraid, well it was a tragedy waiting to happen. PC Gary Palmer was stabbed through the heart, and died almost instantly." The superintendent said solemnly.

"Oh God! Poor Gary. His fate was so terribly similar to Gene's, they were both young officers who had so much to give, and they were taken before they could reach their potential." Alex said sadly as tears fell freely down her cheeks.

"Yes, and he has the same kind of fire in him as Gene had when he came into this world. Gary doesn't know it yet, but he can do a lot of good here, just as Gene has done. He won't be coming with you when you go to the pub, but one day he'll remember and he will be ready. The Railway Arms calls last orders for us all eventually." Clarence said with an accepting smile.

Alex nodded her understanding as she dabbed away the tears from her eyes. She contemplated finally reaching the end of her journey, and taking that last step with Gene.

"I didn't really get very far last time, but I can't imagine sitting in a pub for all eternity." She suddenly said as she thought about the purpose of The Railway Arms. She found herself quite unimpressed with the notion of endless drinks in the saloon bar.

Clarence let out a hearty laugh.

"That's the trouble with some people's concept of paradise, they overlook the need for variety. Doing only one thing for all eternity, would soon become more like a punishment than a reward, wouldn't it?" He asked with a smile.

"I think it was George Orwell who said, that Heaven is an attempt to produce a perfect society by an endless continuation of something that had only been valuable because it was temporary, take away the contrast, and Heaven becomes Hell." Alex said as she expanded on the logic.

"Quite my dear, quite." Clarence said with a degree of mirth.

"All I can say is that there is nothing to fear, but then you already know that, don't you." He said warmly and earnestly.

"Yes. I suppose I do." Alex agreed.

"Well then, onwards and upwards." Clarence said as he ushered out of his office with a smile.

* * *

Alex approached CID with trepidation, she wasn't sure Gene would be in there, but instinct told her, her lion would have retreated to his den to lick his wounds. She reached the doors but instead of going straight in, she peered tentatively through the blinds. Her instincts were right as she could see past the empty desks to Gene's office, where he sat, head bowed with a glass of whisky in his hand. She took a steadying breath and steeled herself, for what she was sure would be a painful reunion. She was undecided whether to knock first, or to just walk straight in, and while she was debating he looked up, and their eyes met. He looked so sad and it appeared as if he might have been crying, but she couldn't be sure, after all he never cried. She opened the office door and stepped inside, pulling it shut behind her.

"Come to twist the knife 'av yer?" Gene asked bitterly.

"Oh Gene, I am so unutterably sorry. I can't bear to see you in so much pain, and to know that I am the one who caused it. I love you so much." Alex said with sorrowful regret.

"If you love me so bloody much, why did you rip me heart out?" He asked angrily.

"You deserve an explanation, but I'm just not sure I can give you one. It's like when you heard that tape I made, during the whole Martin Summers and Operation Rose fiasco. Remember you asked me for an explanation then, and quite frankly that didn't work out too well for us, did it? Can't I just tell you how sorry I am, and you could just chalk it up to my female hormones or something - What do you say?" She appealed for his forgiveness and understanding.

"Y'know when you said you'd marry me, it were the happiest day of my life. I thought we'd got past all the drama's and the misunderstandings, I thought it was you and me Bolly, forever." He said sadly.

"But it is you and me, forever. Forever and ever. I love you Gene, and if you'll take me back, I promise never to run away again. If you put that ring back on my finger- well you'll be stuck with me for all eternity. Does that sound permanent enough for you?" She said with a hopeful smile.

Gene sat in silent contemplation for a moment, and Alex wasn't sure what he was going to say or do next. Suddenly he set down his whisky, and got up out of his seat to close the distance between them.

"I must be a bloody fool, but I can't help meself. I love you Mrs Fruitcake, and if that makes me Mr Fruitcake, well so be it." He said as he took the ring out of his breast pocket, and slipped it back on her finger.

They kissed passionately and desperately, as they were swiftly reunited on Gene's desk.


	12. Chapter 12

**I am so sorry for the delay in posting this final chapter, but life has not been kind to me lately, and I just haven't had the time to devote to writing :(**

**I also wanted to take the time to get this final chapter just right, and it ended up being a bit longer than I anticipated but I hope that you won't mind.**

**Finally I just want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who has taken the time to read this fic, and also commented, alerted and favourited etc. You will never know how much your lovely comments and interest in this fic have meant to me.**

**Hope you all enjoy this final chapter :) xxxx**

Chapter 12

It was now the beginning of March in this world, and the harsh winter was finally starting to loosen it's grip. Alex sipped at her red wine, whilst keeping her eyes fixed on Gene as he stood chatting to Henri at the bar. He hadn't said much about his resurfacing memories, but she knew he had begun to recall things from his previous life. Alex had kept in mind what superintendent Clarence had told her, about giving Gene time to rediscover his true self, and she had suggested Saturday 24th of March for a wedding date. Gene had been reluctantly accepting of it, although he would have preferred to have gotten married at the earliest opportunity instead of waiting. But now it was only a few weeks away, he reasoned that they had taken long enough to get where they were, and in the grand scheme of things it was no time at all. Alex had managed to deflect any lingering concerns Gene had over her meeting with Keats, and he had seemed happy to let the matter drop. She had done all she could to make him feel secure in their relationship, and to show him how much she loved him. However the last couple of days he had seemed distracted, and quite detached at times. She had tried to get him to open up, but he hadn't been ready to talk about whatever it was that was troubling him, and had batted away her concerns. Alex watched Gene contemplatively as he finally moved from the bar and came over to sit beside her, depositing their drinks carefully on the table as he did so.

"You are very chatty with Henri all of a sudden, I thought you didn't like him?" Alex queried with suspicion as she took in Gene's morose expression.

"I don't!" He protested. "But we need somewhere for the wedding reception, and I thought he might do it for mates rates." Gene explained brusquely.

"Mates rates? He does know that you refer to him as 'That French Ponce', doesn't he? Anyway I told you to leave the reception to me, I know just the place." Alex said coyly.

"I just thought yer'd want it here. It's convenient if nothin' else." He said dismissively.

Alex sized him up and wondered if she should broach the subject of what was bothering him again, as something obviously was.

"Gene, maybe we should go upstairs and talk? You seem upset about something." She suggested cautiously.

"If we go upstairs, the last thing I'll want to do is talk." He replied suggestively, but with no real feeling.

"You might as well spit it out then, because I'll just keep nagging until you do." Alex pressed on now that she had the bit between her teeth.

"In that case YOU can bugger off upstairs, and leave me to drink me pint in peace." He puffed indignantly.

Alex moved to place her hand over his and she began to stroke it soothingly.

"You know you can tell me anything, don't you? It's you and me forever, remember?" She softly coaxed.

Gene began to look a bit uncomfortable and started fiddling with an idle beer mat.

"That's just the thing though. It's err - well it's a bit awkward, I mean BECAUSE of you and me." He said cryptically.

"Well as long as it's not another woman." Alex said jokingly, but she froze when she saw the guilty look on Gene's face.

"Oh God! It's not another woman, is it?" She asked as fear gripped her heart. Although she didn't quite know how he would have made time for another woman, between work and spending time with her. But there was an ex-wife somewhere in this world and quite possibly other women he had been 'friendly' with. Alex cursed her jealous nature because she knew in her heart he wouldn't be unfaithful, but still she wasn't sure what to make of it all.

"No. Not in the way you're thinking anyway." He quickly jumped in to calm her panic.

"It's just that lately I've been thinking about this lass I used to know. I had a dream, a while ago now about this young red-headed woman and she and I, err - well I seemed to be pretty fond of her. I mean, all this were years ago, when I were nowt but a lad meself. But it bothered me that I couldn't remember her name, or anything much about her. Then the other day it all seemed to come flooding back - Emily Grimshaw, that were her name." Gene paused as he was uneasy discussing another woman with Alex, especially one he might even have loved.

Alex took in what he'd said and although she couldn't help feeling a slight stab of unjustified jealousy, she knew she had to help him work through it.

"So, Emily was your girlfriend back then?" Alex gently tried to coax out more information.

Gene shifted about in his seat in obvious discomfort with her continuing interrogation.

"Yes. I mean maybe - I don't know it's all still a bit fuzzy." He replied impatiently as he desperately thought of ways to steer the conversation onto safer ground.

Alex sensed his reluctance and although she felt an urgency to press on and uncover more of his hidden memories, she also knew the benefits of the softly softly approach, especially when it came to Gene.

"Alright, well we don't have to discuss it now, if you'd rather not. Just as long as you know you can talk to me about anything, whenever you feel like it." She said reassuringly and clasped his hand in hers to emphasise the point.

He smiled at her gratefully, and was happy that Alex was astute enough to know when he needed time to work through things on his own.

The evening passed pleasantly enough and he went to sleep with his arms wrapped around Alex, but in his dreams he was dancing with Emily Grimshaw. They were moving slowly to the music, and her emerald green dress fanned out as he twirled her around to the melodious sound of Frank Sinatra singing 'They Can't Take That Away From Me.'

_The way your smile just beams_

_The way you sing off key_

_The way you haunt my dreams_

_No they can't take that away from me_

_We may never never meet again, on that bumpy road to love_

_But I'll always, always keep the memory of_

_The way you hold your knife_

_The way we danced till three_

_The way you changed my life_

_No they can't take that away from me_

_

* * *

_

Alex sad idly sipping at her hot coffee and staring at the unfinished reports on her desk. She really couldn't motivate herself to attend to them, when she knew her time in this world was almost at an end. Instead she glanced around for other distractions and saw WPC Julie Brent was seemingly lost in her own reverie.

"Julie? Everything alright?" She asked as she startled the WPC back to the present.

"Oh sorry! I was miles away." Julie said with embarrassment.

"That's alright, I was just thinking that we haven't really chatted for a while and you looked like you might have something on your mind." Alex said with concern, as she went and seated herself on the edge of Julie's desk.

"I don't want to burden you with any more of my troubles, I think you've probably had your fill of them." Julie said, although it was obvious she did want to get something off of her chest.

"Now come on, I think you know me better than that. I'm always ready to listen if you want to talk." Alex chided gently.

"Well to tell the truth I was just thinking about all the things I promised myself I'd do before I was forty, and here I am, a couple of years past that particular milestone and hardly anything crossed off my 'to do' list." She explained with exasperation.

Alex eyed her with a sad expression, and she couldn't help but let her mind briefly wander, over all the things that she would now never get to experience. It was one thing to be wistful about the things you had never done, when you thought you could still make up for lost time. But to know that you had seen and done all you ever would do in your life, was another thing altogether. These thoughts occupied her as Julie continued to talk, and to list some of the things she had not yet managed to achieve. Alex scarcely registered any of her colleagues lost opportunities though, as she instead called to mind the words of American poet John Greenleaf Whittier...

"_Let the thick curtain fall;_

_I better know than all_

_How little I have gained,_

_How vast the unattained."_

Alex hadn't realised that she had spoken the verse out loud, until she noticed that Julie was staring at her with a bemused expression.

"Blimey! You're worse than I am, and here was me thinking you were gonna cheer me up. There's still time though, isn't there? I mean I'm only in my early forties, I can still go and see the pyramids and take that trip to Las Vegas, I could even make it to the top of the Empire State building one day." Julie said with an enthusiastic smile.

"It'll be my birthday soon, maybe I could plan something, you know? Cross one thing off that list, at least." She continued.

Alex merely gave a tight smile in reply, one that didn't reach her eyes as she tried to hold back the tears. She was grateful that Gene chose that moment to come bounding out of his office with news of an armed robbery in progress. He summoned her along with Terry, Gary and Poirot, and she gave an apologetic smile to Julie as she lept to her feet. However, it was a welcome reprieve from uncomfortable thoughts and difficult conversations, even if she knew they couldn't be avoided forever. But until Julie had her moment of epiphany, all she could do was wait, and ease the passage where she could. The same was true for Gene, but his reluctance to address what he did remember of the past was going to make it a difficult task.

* * *

Gene slammed the Mercedes around yet another tight corner.

"What's happening? Anyone?" He growled for a progress report as Alex manned the radio.

"Three masked men, two armed with shotguns and one waiting outside in the getaway car. They cleaned out the Mercantile bank and a couple of shots were fired, no reports of casualties though. We need to be on the lookout for a black Ford Capri Mk II, registration Victor - Juliet - Whisky - Three - Three - Zero - Lima."

Gene was scanning the road ahead as he accelerated past the bank, and he nodded to the police officers already in attendance as another report came over the radio, it was from Sergeant Frank Burns who was back at the station.

"Suspect vehicle sighted on Brick Road, they ran a red light and almost hit a pedestrian." Burns reported.

Alex gripped the dashboard as Gene screeched to a halt and spun the car around to head off in the direction of the reported sighting. There were a few concerned mutters from the occupants of the back seat as they were buffeted about.

"Bloody Hell! If I didn't have three ruddy great lumps on the back seat, I'd 'ave caught up to 'em by now." Gene cursed gruffly at Terry, Gary and Poirot, as he was in no mood for their whinging.

They weaved around the back streets until they came out on to Brick Road, and the screech of car tyres up ahead alerted them to presence of the robber's Capri. Gene put his foot down on the accelerator and they were soon dodging around the traffic to get closer to the suspect vehicle, until they were only a matter of a few feet behind it. There was a recreation ground coming up to the right of them as Gene accelerated again and rammed the Capri from behind, then he pulled out and slammed into the side of the car to shunt it off the road and onto the grass of the playing field. A dog-walker jumped back to safety, and yanked his dog by the collar to avoid it being dragged under the wheels of the now out of control Ford Capri. The runaway car came to a halt and the robbers jumped out, one brandished his shotgun and fired at the Mercedes. The shot missed them and pinged off the ground as Gene, Alex, Terry, Gary and Poirot jumped out of the car and reached for their guns. Terry managed to fire off a shot at one of the absconding suspects and hit him in the leg.

"How the hell did yer manage that?" Gene was incredulous as he knew how short-sighted he was, Terry was nonplussed and merely shrugged in response.

They were prevented from progressing any further by a barrage of shot-gun fire from the other two suspects. Gene and Alex ducked for cover behind the Mercedes as the others jumped to safety behind a nearby cricket pavilion. They exchanged more gun-fire and Gene managed to hit one of the robbers in the chest. He shouted out to the last man standing, advising him to give himself up and promising medical assistance for his friends. The two injured robbers remained wailing and thrashing about on the ground as their accomplice weighed up his options. Then the remaining armed man started to lower his weapon to the ground, as he realised the futility of his situation. Terry, Poirot and Gary cautiously advanced towards the band of not-so-merry-men with their guns trained on their targets until they could remove the shot-guns from harms way. With the men safely disarmed and help on it's way, Alex prepared to get back into the Mercedes with Gene. But he had walked out onto the playing field, and was stood looking down at the man he had just shot. His eyes weren't really focused on the man at his feet though, but instead he was seeing someone else shot and dying on the ground. She walked up behind him as he remained seemingly oblivious to her presence. Alex wondered if this incident had been the catalyst that was needed for him to get his memories back.

"Everything alright?" She asked cautiously as she reached out to gently stroke him on the back.

He started at the sound of her voice and his body gave an involuntary shudder, as he snapped out of his reverie and came back to himself. Alex could see as he turned to face her, that he had the same haunted look in his eyes that she had seen before, when they were out in that field by the old farmhouse. Where she had dug up that body, his body as it turned out, and as his bones had been unearthed so too had his memories.

"It's funny, because I were just thinking - about how many times I must have stared down the barrel of a gun as a copper." Gene said in a quiet voice, his tone melancholic.

"Gene?..." Alex began hesitantly, unsure whether to press him any further at that stage.

Just then the ambulance and back-up police cars arrived and broke the atmosphere, and Gene was grateful for it. He now had all of his memories back, but he wasn't ready to face them right there and then. Instead he lept into action and began barking out orders to his underlings as he swept over to the get in to the Mercedes and gestured that Alex should do the same.

"You three tarts can escort Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid to hospital." Gene shouted over to Terry, Poirot and Gary as the wounded robbers were loaded onto the ambulances.

"Gene?" Alex looked questioningly over at him as he started the car engine.

"You and me are going for a little drive." He said cryptically as he drove them off of the recreation ground and back on to the main road.

Alex eyed him with concern but she didn't intend to argue, she knew he had to deal with it all in his own way.

* * *

After driving in silence for what seemed like an eternity, Gene finally stopped the car. They had just driven down a leafy suburban avenue, and had parked outside a house with a 'For Sale' sign on the gate post.

"Where are we?" Alex asked with puzzlement as she peered inquisitively out of the car window.

Gene let out a heavy sigh before he began...

"He had dreams y'know? That skinny lad. He had things he wanted to do, and places he wanted to see. You never think d'yer? I mean when yer young, yer never think how fragile life can be.

Alex reached for his hand, as tears began to prick at her eyes. Gene sighed again and stared out of the window at the house in front of them. They remained there in contemplative silence for a moment, until Alex broke it.

"So, you remember everything again?" She asked in a quiet voice as she squeezed his hand in a comforting gesture.

Gene gave a slight nod of his head in reply but he didn't take his eyes off the house, he just continued to stare at it. Alex was concerned by his silence and decided to question him on their location.

"So, where are we? Whose house is this?" She asked, as she looked out over the suburban semi-detached house that Gene was seemingly fixated on. It looked quite modern and was pleasantly situated with a small tidy garden at the front, and quite possibly a good sized garden at the back, although she couldn't see it from her present position.

Gene reached into his coat pocket and produced a set of keys, which he then held up and jangled on one finger.

"It could have been our house. I mean - I had it all planned out. I was gonna bring yer here after work and show you around. I've already looked round it once, and I was ready to put an offer in for it, but I thought I'd best make sure you liked it as well."

Gene gave a bitter laugh before continuing...

"Yer know what I thought? I thought - Gene lad, you've got a few miles on the clock, but you've hit the jackpot here. You've landed yerself a classy, tasty bird and she is in her prime. She will be the wife you always dreamed of having, and she might even be..." He paused and pursed his lips and sniffed nervously. "She might even be the mother of the kids you always wanted."

Alex swallowed and could no longer hold back the tears, that had been threatening since they had left the recreation ground.

"I thought we still had time." Gene said sadly.

"Oh Gene." Alex sobbed as she took him into a tight embrace. He let her hold him but he was too numb to respond in kind.

"That lass I mentioned, Emily Grimshaw, I remembered who she was, she were the girl next door. We grew up together, and I never told her...I...well - It's all water under the bridge now, isn't it?" He sighed and went quiet for a moment before continuing.

"There was that one time in our front parlour, I'd asked her to come round and listen to me dad's new Perry Como record, she liked Perry Como yer see. I was going to tell her how I felt about her then, and see if she would agree to go out wi' me, on a proper date like. We'd been out together before, with a group of mates to the dance-hall, we'd even danced together. But only as friends, and she never knew I wanted to be something more than that. Before I got the chance to say owt, she told me she were going steady with a mate of ours called 'Greasy Graham'. His real name was Bernard Graham, but he was a mechanic yer see so we called him 'Greasy'. I thought I'd missed me chance, but me mam said "_Gene lad, that Bernard Graham is a rum 'un, he'll let her down and then she'll come running." _ I never got to find out if she were right or not, I did miss me chance after all." He said sadly.

Alex just continued to hold on to him tightly, as she let all the emotion she had been holding in come pouring out. After a while of sitting in contemplation Gene let out a deep sigh.

"Oh well, no use crying over spilt milk is there? C'mon Bolly dry yer tears. I don't suppose there's much point looking around that house now, I'll just drive us back to the station." He said with a sad smile of resignation.

Alex sniffed back her tears and nodded in silent assent, as they drove away.

* * *

The station was quiet and sparsely populated when they arrived back there, it almost felt the same as when they had returned with Jim Keats. After the past had been unearthed the first time around, and Gene was at his most vulnerable, except this time his steely resolve was mostly unbroken. He walked down the empty corridor was his hand firmly holding onto Alex's for mutual support as they approached CID. The doors swung open to reveal an empty office, all but for the sound of sobbing coming from the small kitchen area. Gene and Alex exchanged a questioning look as they cautiously walked in the direction of the crying, and there they found Julie weeping inconsolably in Frank's arms.

"Juile? What's happened?" Alex asked although she suspected the cause was the regaining of her memories, and sure enough Julie soon confirmed it, as soon as she had recovered enough to talk.

"It all came flooding back to me, after you left earlier. The things you said, or rather the things you didn't say. You knew all the time didn't you? I was thinking about my birthday and suddenly I remembered, clear as day." She paused and then suddenly burst out laughing which took everyone aback.

"Julie?" Alex questioned her strange reaction.

She became almost hysterical, but when she had regained her composure she continued...

"I joined a dating agency, you know, after my divorce. I saw the lonely years stretching out ahead of me and I thought - what the hell, you know? Anyway to cut a long story short, I went on a few dates and they were all a complete waste of time. I should have chucked the towel in, but I made a deal with myself, I said I'd give it one more chance. I thought - what if the next one is Mr Right? What if I missed out on my destiny? Well he wasn't Mr Right. But it looks like I did meet my destiny after all. I was grateful that I had an excuse to leave the restaurant early that night, because I was due to start work at five the next morning. The roads were icy, and I drove as carefully as I could. But I hit a patch of black ice, and I remember desperately trying to get control, but I couldn't, I just couldn't."

She returned to Frank's embrace as she began sobbing again.

"I don't think I ever forgot that I was...well you know." Frank said, after Julie's sobs eventually subsided.

"I lived with my parents until they both died, one after the other, and a month apart as it turned out. I never married, just never found the right girl I suppose and my job, the police force, well that was my life. Then one day, just as I was about to finish my shift, I had a heart attack, and that, as they say was that. I suppose I just wanted to finish my last shift and I happened to find Miss Right in the process. Who'd have thought it?" He said as he smiled down at Julie, who managed to return a watery smile.

Gene squeezed Alex's hand as they all took a moment to contemplate their respective fates, and the positions they now found themselves in. The irony, that they had all found love with the perfect partner after their deaths, did not escape them.

Suddenly they heard the sound of the doors to CID being swung open, and then the sound of approaching footsteps...

"Looks like I've arrived in the nick of time." The friendly booming voice of superintendent George Clarence announced his presence, just before he entered the kitchen.

"Sir?" Alex exclaimed with surprise as he came in and stood before them.

"Well, they do say that misery loves company, and it's certainly found some here!" Clarence said with mock disapproval.

"If you'll forgive us sir, I think under the circumstances we'll refrain from jumping for joy." Alex said curtly.

"_Death is nothing at all,_

_I have only slipped away into the next room._

_I am I, and you are you,_

_Whatever we were to each other,_

_That we are still."_

He orated to his glum audience, as if he were doing a reading at a funeral.

"We are where we are, and where we are isn't so bad, is it? Especially not when you consider the alternative...Anyway - Frank, you put everything you had into the police force. You came back here to 1983 because that was the year you joined up, it was the best decision you ever made and I know that you don't regret it. You said you only wanted to finish your last shift, and you have. You have served and protected, and you have done us all proud. Julie, you came back specifically for Christmas 1983 because it was when your son was born. You always wondered if you had done the right thing by having him adopted, and now you can be at peace with your decision. You didn't want to end up alone, and you haven't. You will never be alone again. Alex, you were separated from your little girl and I know the pain that has caused you. But you know now that she is going to be fine, you did your best, and that's all any of us can do in the end." superintendent Clarence gave them all a warm smile of understanding, as he finally turned to Gene. He reached into the pocket of his overcoat and pulled out the small tin box with the fading image of the Queen on it.

"Hope you don't mind? I took the liberty of retrieving this before I came here tonight." Clarence directed his question at Alex, as they both knew he had asked her to keep it safe until Gene regained his memory. She shook her head, as tears once more gathered in her eyes. He pulled the creaky lid open, and gently emptied the contents of the box into his free hand. Clarence then held up the picture of Gene as a young man, and newly qualified police officer.

"When we choose to put that uniform on, we are choosing to serve and protect, and none of us knows what danger we might, meet or what fate awaits us. You were proud to wear that uniform, and you did your duty." The superintendent said as he handed Gene the photograph.

"For all the bloody good it did me." Gene said bitterly as he looked upon his younger self.

"But you have done good." Clarence held up the badge with Gene's epaulette number on it.

"Would you take this now and throw it in the dirt, like Will Kane did at the end of High Noon with his Sheriff's badge? Or would you wear it with pride once more, in the full knowledge that you have served above and beyond the call of duty. What you have achieved is remarkable and you did it all through sheer bloody-mindedness. Those whom you safely dispatched to the pub will be forever grateful, and when you finally walk through those pub doors, there will be one almighty celebration." He said with a beaming smile as he handed Gene the badge.

Gene just stared at the badge in his hand for a moment, before taking a deep breath and puffing it out, as he pinned the badge to his jacket. Alex moved to take him into her arms, and he kissed her before tightly embracing her.

"We were going to get married." He said mournfully as he brushed his face against her hair.

"And you still can." Superintendent Clarence said with conviction.

"Nothing has changed, not really. You can still pledge your love to one another, and I think the Railway Arms would be a perfect place for the reception. Just don't forget to raise a glass for me." He said with a knowing wink.

"We could make it a double wedding, I mean if you'll have me?" Frank said hastily and looked to Julie with a worried expression, as he awaited her reply.

"Yes, I'll have you, you silly beggar." She said as she pulled him in for a kiss.

"Looks like I'll be giving Cupid a run for his money." Clarence said as he erupted into hearty laughter, then he awkwardly cleared his throat at the amorous displays before him, and made a swift and discreet exit.

* * *

"Welcome Mr and Mrs Hunt, it's so good to see you Mon Bruv." Nelson said to Gene as he and Alex walked towards the doorway of the Railway Arms.

"Good to see you an all." Gene replied with a warm smile.

"Come on in my friends, we are going to party tonight." Nelson grinned as Julie and Frank walked hand in hand up to the door, they looked back at Gene before entering.

"In yer go then Mr and Mrs Burns, an make sure they've got plenty of champagne on ice." Gene said reassuringly as they turned and walked into the pub.

"I'd offer to carry yer over the threshold, but I'm saving me back for tonight." Gene said to Alex with a wink.

Nelson smiled and went back into the pub, leaving the door slightly ajar for them.

"This is it then?" Alex said as she squeezed his hand tightly.

"Yeah Bolly, it is." Gene squeezed her hand in return.

Somewhere, out of sight in the shadows a lonely figure watched them and sneered his goodbyes.

But the happy couple only saw each other and with one final look up at the stars, they turned and walked into the pub.

**THE END.**


End file.
